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08/17/2013 11:23 AM

wife denies being bi polar

ES465
Posts: 1
New Member

Hi everyone: i,ll start by thanking everyone in advance for replying to my problem, if you will. I,ll start by mentioning that this Sept 4th will be our 9th year of marriage, (and the worst one). I say this because my wife displays obvious signs of bi polar. She continuosly explodes into anger at the smallest of things. She is constantly saying that I had affairs. When we go away for a few hours she is ok for the first little bit, then any little thing I say sends her into a raging bull, screaming i,m no good and screams for a divorce. She went for divorce papers and continuosly holds them over my head whenever she blows up into her angry rages. She has been acting like this for a few years, but now it,s getting much worse. I suggested seeing a psychistrist with her but she refuses to acknowledge that she has a problem. I have been living with her for the last fifteen years, but it only seem to get worst this last year and a half. I wake up psyicially and mentally exhausted every day. I don,t know how or if anymore of this I can bear.
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08/17/2013 11:28 AM
DrDiva
DrDiva  
Posts: 2918
Senior Member

It looks like it's time for an ultimatum. See a psychiatrist or I am moving out/asking you to leave. You don't have to call it bipolar, and you can have a separation before a divorce. It sounds like you need space to clear your head. You are being abused. Whether she is sick or not is not going to make any difference when your own health is gone (Physical, mental, financial). You don't have to live like this.

We understand. We have all been there. Now is the time to take action. It will not get any better on its own. It gets worse with age. Rages are part of bipolar if untreated. This is unacceptable behaviour. You have every right to feel accosted and worn down. This i no way to live.


08/19/2013 05:14 PM
mem8109

Hi all thank you for your help

Post edited by: jem987, at: 08/19/2013 09:10 PM


08/19/2013 05:23 PM
mem8109

New to this, got a lot to lern, please read my profile

08/19/2013 08:59 PM
mem8109

Hi,Been with my wife for 12 years, only found out about the bp some weeks ago,My wife is 65 I am 55, she started to tell me I was only around as a prop and for sex, also wants a devorce.Two weeks ago she was diagnosed with a brain tumar,Sorry cant even spell It right, operation is on sunday,She is telling me she has felt like this for years and it is has nothing to do with the comming op, over the years things have been strained with mood swings, I love my wife as you all seem to know we all do, yes I feel very much on my own, all I have ever tried to do is take care of her, she is saying when she is at home I have to move out, I have nowhere to go. She has been in hp for 6 weeks now, I have been there every day, I was told i had to, by my wife, I am still only a prop, begged me to take her home tonight offering a roll in the ? well no chance I think it would have been the same for anyone willing to take her away from the hp. I want my wife back home I love her so the meds are not working,Hoping she will come back after the op, keep telling my wife we can talk about the divorce when she is well again. The tumers have been growing about 4 years, her bp has been around for most of her life, only found out from a close friend of my wife. She is going though hell, I am with her all the way, Its not my falt, I cannot make it better I can only care, its not my falt, I cannot fix it I can only care, what do I do

08/20/2013 01:36 AM
livinginablender
livinginablender  
Posts: 13293
Group Leader

jem

i am sorry. bless your heart.

she must be in horrible pain.

i understand.

XX

L.


08/20/2013 02:05 AM
mem8109

Thank you, been on my own for the weeks my wife has been in hp,

Just feeling sorry for my self. It will be fine,


08/20/2013 02:41 AM
livinginablender
livinginablender  
Posts: 13293
Group Leader

jem

i feel sorry for you too.

XO


08/20/2013 03:02 AM
mem8109

Thank you ,

When I see my wife in hp I donot let her see this side only the possitive,

I have to sit in silence and lisen with a smile on my face while she is telling me about the cheating with money

And how much our life together is wrong all the time holdong tightly on to me and not letting go, it is the holding on that hurts is it still love under thier or am I just someone to hold on to at that moment.

She is in a little pain and frightened, and I cannot take it away. If I am not thier she will hod on to anyone that wi listen, have to find the posative now soon of to see her at the hp,

Thank you for your replys, nice just to talk thankyou


08/20/2013 08:10 AM
buzzingmind
buzzingmind  
Posts: 757
Senior Member

ES465, I am the one with BP and your spouse sounds like me. I was a very happy person until 2009 and then my behaviour did a total flip flop. Everyone had to walk on eggshells around me or else I would explode into a rage. I would get off on the look of fear in my girls eyes then burst into tears later with guilt. I blamed my husband on trying to reunite with his exwife. Went through his phone and computer. Started crying at work. Paranoia. Insomnia. My best friend, came over one day when everyone was out and said that I wasn't the same person he knew before and that I needed to get counselling. Get help. I started counselling. Then had a major psychotic episode that resulted in a 10 day stay. Over the past 4 years I have tried to go off my meds a few times because I thought it was just stress and I was fine. But no. I have BP and I need my medication to keep me somewhat (and I say that loosely since it is a work in progress) stable. At times I have begged him to leave to find a "normal" person. Other times when I am paranoid he says that if I cant trust him then to kick him out. It is a very trying time on a relationship. But acceptance of the disorder has to be the first step in order to work on getting well.
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