I'm new here and I truely believe (my husband does too) that he is bipolar.
I have seen the ups, the downs, the manic one-sided conversations, the hopeless, I'm a failure depressions. He's described the racing thoughts, and inability to focus at times. I've seen him take things way, way too personally. His father is bipolar.
I've spend the last two days, jumped on here two days ago, trying to explain myself. My husband has never officially been diagnosed, but has seen doctors in the past who have made suggestions that there could be something. The past two days, I've tried to explain myself (in my own private password protected document) and my story and can't condense it down to less than two pages - will post in my diary, when I feel I have collected my thoughts. I guess because I'm trying to justify why I feel he is bipolar.
We have been able to talk a great deal about it lately and he has agreed to see a dr. He participated in a study years ago and said the meds helps, he didn't continue afterwards because he felt fine, for several years.
I have spent time on other sites on boards about alcohol and abuse and nothing made sense. Nobody talked about my story.
I came here and I could have written many of the posts. The answers that I found here make the most sense, espcially since he has always thought that he may have this condition.
What I learned...
I could never figure out how a man who was so loving and adoring most of the time could, on occasion, say the most horrific things to me. I read it all here. He's leaving, never loved me, put me down, twisted truths, accused me of manipulating truths, acted as if things that were said or done were personal. He, at times packed his bags to leave at 3am in the morning. It didn't fit. At first I thought unresolved anger and drinking brought it out, but we could go months without an episode. It was verbal abuse, but 'outside an episode' he never said or did anything that was remotely close to abuse - so I didn't fit there.
He is ashamed of his behavior and knows that there is no excuse for it. He also was surprised to hear that this could be part of being bipolar. Not that it made him feel better about it about the things he said.
I'm no doctor, I could be wrong. He has agreed to treatment and I am grateful. So whatever the problem, we are ready to address.
WARHORSE: I appreciate your suggestion about not seeing a GP. He wants to start with the meds he did during the study, and with our family physician. But, on your advise I am starting to research psychiatrists. I think he thinks it will work like it did before, I'm causously optomistic. But preparing myself.
Itfcrazy: thank you for your thoughts the other night. I'm sorry if I said anything in any way to make you feel as if you upset me or gave too much advice. You didn't. I am trying to piece everything together and my thoughts are racing because I feel I'm finally finding something that makes sense. Too many stories here fit mine. I haven't talk about this to anyone and I guess I'm just anxious to get my story out there and be understood.
Thank you for the warm welcomes I have received. I am relieved to finally realize that I am not alone (sorry, you all have to go through this too). I have no one to talk to but you folks here; not sure if anyone else would understand.
I've been with the man for more than 20 years (married 16). We have 3 wonderful school-aged children. He is a wonderful father and husband who cooks, cleans, does laundry and grocery shops. He's very involved in his kids' lives.
And there I went, wrote a book. We'll I am trying to compile my thoughts so that I can give a doctor my insight if needed. (And for my own peace of mind.)
I wish you all the best here and am grateful you are here.
-Susan
