Bipolar in the family Support Group

he was paranoid and everyone was out to get him.

he did not like anyone. But was so nice to their face

he was such a nice intellegent person before has college education.

then he wanted to drive cars that were embarrassingly junk. clothes like a street person. he had a old coat that he had as a teenager that was bought from the thrift store and it had dry rotted and I gladly threw it away he had other new nice ones I bought him. He took bag ties and attached the sleeves on when the thread rotten off. he got to where he would not bathe or brush teeth.

he was obsessed with things collecting like junk not just hoarding like you see on the talk shows but much worse. cant throw away shoe laces that were broke and old. he got violent and threw fits when I threw anything away. He would weld and catch his self on fire I had to watch him constantly.

his moods were scary. He ate essessively like four people and lost weight. yes had his thyroid checked. he would start telling lies to cover up lies.

I watched him deterioate and nothing I can do.

I went back to school RN school and he filed for divorice.

saying the reasons were I had a cell phone and was putting miles on a car to go

I could never reason with him he always went in circles. all night and day long on and on and on he couold go for days on end

I prayed to god to help. I went to talk with a bi polar counciler that helped me deal with him that I was to give him less info so he did not freak out when he tried to process it

had not seen him in a year

went to mediatiation monday

he was frail

looked bad

but was nicer and made more sence than he did in so long

he said he loved me thought of me every day

he wanted a divorce and to be friends

but

we had a converstation today to discuss the division of assets

and he was different tempermental and told me he wanted us to be honest and told me three big lies right after

I am so tore up because I cant help him

his family are horrible and abused him

he is / was a good person underneath his illness

I feel he is fighting some battle with in

and I am afraid he will be sucidial when this is done

people around me are like be glad it will be done and move on

but you have to know how he was before all this happened and he changed

I sat across him and he being 41 is much like a scared child

it was like he did not want to do this

its like he is two different people in one

Id like to help him and its breaking my heart that I cant do anything

I feel more helpless than when we were living together

he is paranoid

so if I were to talk about him getting help then I would be the enemy as everyone else is

please advise this hurts me to no end to see him in this condition and nothing I can do

I cant hate him for the horrible things he did to me

he left me homeless and I had good freinds rescue me

but he is sick and not the real john

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He was not always this way. his aunt has bi polar and is on lithium. her husband talked to me and was the one who told me what could be wrong with john. My MD knew but by law was bound to say nothing he was not qualified to dianose him. but he was glad I came to him so he can speak freely. We set him up an apt to be evaluated but he would not go.

he is so paranoid. he has no freinds. he lies to cover lies and its to the point he beleives the lies. he can stay up for days.

the collection I mean the worse than hoarding of things got so bad. Codes came out many times.

his family imediate mother brother sister did him dirty. but they ALL hate each other and live isolated. it is so weird.

I knew he had escaped and thought he was doing fine. I knew they were out theer but he seemed fine he had escaped he said that too.

then his father started on him on and on and on. he destroyed him. Then he went into this manic work go go go go and obsessed with things would be so cheap strangly cheap on somethings and then go blow money on 4 NON running trucks. But it was my fault we had no money. He would not allow us to have anything decent to drive and his reply was if you dont go anywhere you dont need a car. he got so controlling of me it was scary.

I saw him at the mediation and I saw a frail version of him and I could see he is fighting some sort of battle inside.

I have no one I can talk to about this

people are like be glad you are getting rid of this jerk

but I cant hate him because he is sick

I love the john that used to be before this happened

he filed for divorice and let me on the street. I had to sneak to make money. I sold things on ebay and put back money because his uncle told me to because he was going to freak out one day and I needed something put back

I spent that money on school RN school I needed training so that I can be on my feet be prepared for what was going to happen and that did happen

I was in denial for so long hopiing ok it will get better

he told me at the mediation that he loved me all he thought about was me but we need to get through this divorce then we need to be freinds

I asked him why he was doing this and he said he will tell me after

it was hard for me

I went to talk with a bi polar counciler who taught me to not give him info so he wont get upset if I give him info he had a hard time processing it and got upset

I was trying to learn how to deal and talk to him

oh there is so much

sooo very much

and the excessive food he ate OMG unbeleiveable and his work comitted on that they cant afford to have work parties he ate too much and they were not joking

I pray that I can somehow get him help

he was NOT a bad person he just got sick

it is tearing my heart apart

I have been away for a year

I got so busy with a and p one and two etc for pre nursing

kept on deans list etc got accepted into RN program so I was so busy I did not think

now I have to deal with it

I need to do something but how to get him help

he will isolate hisself

he even said he will go live in his truck

and the thing is he means that

he may end on the street if I dont do something to help

ok tears again

I was with him over 16 years its hard to let go

if I knew he was just an _____ and just did me dirty then I could hate him

but he is sick

he cant help what he did

you can not have a rational converstation with him it goes in circles

he is very intellegent very much so

but he dont make logical decisions most the time

he can seem normal then flip out or say something very weird

you have to be around to see what I am talking about

its so hard to let him go on that way

its not illegal to be like this you cant make them go to the doc