Bipolar in the family Support Group

New2it- give us a little more information her on how long you have been together, how long has his moods been unstable..

Hopeless- it is NOT your responsibility to help him if HE DOES NOT WANT TO HELP HIMSELF. YOU DID NOT CAUSE IT, YOU CANNOT CURE IT.

I would suggest taking care of yourself- therapy for yourself is a good place to start.

Peace.

I am there with you. I am at my end. I am getting depressed. I am so stressed I cannot think straight. He is nice for maybe two days and then it starts again, the anger, the paranoia, the accusations, ignoring me, sleeping in a different room. He wants me to sit and listen to his complaints about who left water or soap marks on the driveway when they washed their car.And when I say sit and listen this lecture can go on for close to an hour. And I would be expected to listen to the same complaint several times during the day.

I am so lonely for a relationship, for a husband the way he was before this escalated. Therapy for the third time now. And he is starting to find reasons not to listen to the therapist now. I hate him but I do not want to hate him. He is so mean sometimes it shocks me. He is mean to my kids and my parents and to me and even to himself.

wifeinneed- I was always told- love him but hate the illness. It is very very hard to separate the illness from the person but do your best to remember this.I too was more lonely with him then without. I physically got away from him for 1 year and then found peace. I went for therapy twice a week- even when I was feeling better. I never took my medications even though I was prescribed anti depressants. I tried to be strong and told myself- I have done nothing wrong and why should I let his illness ruin me!

I am trying to say that to myself also.. I have done nothing wrong,my kids have done nothing wrong. Over and over so I know this. Sometimes it does not help the loneliness. I love him and I do hate his illness.

I wish I did not love him,and I think if this keeps up I will begin not to love him. there are more bad days than good now. Sometimes I want to just sleep on my day off to avoid it all but I know that is depression so I am up and going to go do something,walk ,run,food shop..anything to get me out of this house where he is sleeping all day long.

By the way What is bipolarII.. is that with more rapid cycling? I would look it up on line but now it would make me more depressed as it sounds worse than just bipolar.

No- please ask questions- shows you care. Learn as much as you can about the illness. Not knowing anything will only get you more frustrated and have lesser and lesser compassion for the one you love.

Bipolar I

Raging bipolar (I) is characterized by at least one full-blown manic episode lasting at least one week or any duration if hospitalization is required. This may include inflated self-esteem or grandiosity, decreased need for sleep, being more talkative than usual, flight of ideas, distractibility, increase in goal-oriented activity, and excessive involvement in risky activities.

The symptoms are severe enough to disrupt the patient's ability to work and socialize, and may require hospitalization to prevent harm to himself or others. The patient may lose touch with reality to the point of being psychotic.

The other option for raging bipolar is at least one "mixed" episode on the part of the patient. The DSM-IV is uncharacteristically vague as to what constitutes mixed, an accurate reflection of the confusion within the psychiatric profession. More tellingly, a mixed episode is almost impossible to explain to the public. One is literally "up" and "down" at the same time.

Bipolar II

Swinging bipolar (II) presumes at least one major depressive episode, plus at least one hypomanic episode over at least four days. The same characteristics as mania are evident, with the disturbance of mood observable by others, but the episode is not enough to disrupt normal functioning or necessitate hospitalization, and there are no psychotic features.

Those in a state of hypomania are typically the life of the party, the salesperson of the month, and more often than not the best-selling author or Fortune 500 mover and shaker, which is why so many refuse to seek treatment. But the same condition can also turn on its victim, resulting in bad decision-making, social embarrassments, wrecked relationships, and projects left unfinished.

Hypomania can also occur in those with raging bipolar, and may be the prelude to a full-blown manic episode.

There is more then just whats described in the books about Bipolar disorder. Every individual case is different and with proper medication and therapy, BP folks lead very good and happy lives.

I am there with you. I am at my end. I am getting depressed. I am so stressed I cannot think straight. He is nice for maybe two days and then it starts again, the anger, the paranoia, the accusations, ignoring me, sleeping in a different room. He wants me to sit and listen to his complaints about who left water or soap marks on the driveway when they washed their car.And when I say sit and listen this lecture can go on for close to an hour. And I would be expected to listen to the same complaint several times during the day.

I am so lonely for a relationship, for a husband the way he was before this escalated. Therapy for the third time now. And he is starting to find reasons not to listen to the therapist now. I hate him but I do not want to hate him. He is so mean sometimes it shocks me. He is mean to my kids and my parents and to me and even to himself.

not sure how to use this yet the quotes that is

yes that is what mine did for so long and it got to the extreme he would have hurt me if it kept on I was getting scared

YES I was so lonely you end up being isolated and mine was controlling and possessive as well.

but what you said was what he would do it was like a roller coaster ride

I got back into RN school and that gave me my self esteme back and self confidence back

I went to bi polar support group so that I can learn about the illness. when they take their meds they are normal.

mine filed for divorice because he lost control and he was totally freaking out

he got so manic and obsessed

he faked a break in to the house after I left for the drama

the bad thing is I think he beleives it happened

DO NOT go out and meet another man because that will complicate things and it will be much harder on you

according to a bi polar expert that is what mostly happens

they will play you on your emotions or mine did and will still do it

you have to be strong and it is so hard to be strong when you have been beatin down for so long

after he threw me out of the house because I did not have an attorney to defend me I had just paid for tutition so I was broke

I had no car nothing

I had to borrow money for an attorney

I was working hard to try to deal with him

I beleive marriage is for sickness and health

better or worse that is what god wanted you to do

his uncle john ( married to his bi polar aunt) told me and explained what he had or Id never have know what was going on. I had literally given up I was so exhausted from all this manic up and down

the reason i am telling you this is because you HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR ANYTHING And EveRYTHING that can happen. you never know what is in their minds or what they will do next

I knew one day he would crash bad like his aunt did and Id have to take care of him

he would not allow me to work I had a home business and I had to sneak it mostly because he was so controlling.

I have been taking care of me

It was very hard because I have no family and I am totally alone

the freinds I made were ones I made in the last year before all this happened so its been two years

he filed last june 26

we cant get past go on the divorce because he is going in circles with everything

he got me for having a cell phone which I paid for

and going to school which I paid for

and putting miles on an old 78 station wagon to go to school that was the reasons he divorced me

he lost control and control is a big issue with bi polar as I have learned

that is why they pile stuff up and get obsessed with collecting things to the extreme

if I had family and if uncle john did not die recently it would be easier

I have to be able to take care of me

I have NO one else to rely on

I have no one that cares about me so I have to take care of myself

so be prepared for what ever happens

put money back

make sure you have a way to survive when they flip out

I semi knew but never thought he would have done that

just be prepared !dont mean to scare you but best to be aware than be on the street like me

For goodness sakes, it's not your responsibility to help him. You MUST not go back to him or even try to be his friend unless he's being treated with medication...and taking it right.

Make what's left of your life good. There's nothing you can do for him unless he recognizes it himself and is willing to get help. Don't ruin your life because he is the one with the problem.

My love is my son, and there's no leaving that, but this man is not your responsibility.

I just found out too and i needed to vent as well who do you talk to when your husband is embrassed about his mental state and you need support to support him.

You talk to a therapist. I would start there.