Hello

I am in a similiar situation I think. I have been struggling to figure out what has been going on with my husband. We have been married almost four years, and we have a four year old son. I just started searching online about the possiblity that he is bipolar and am now pretty sure of it. It is one thing reading the list of symptoms, another thing to read through this forum and see so much of our daily lives and struggles reflected in the posts of "strangers."

Now I am just scared, and very, very sad because I feel hopeless. It seems like such a big mental health problem to tackle, even if the person is able to accept that they have a problem and wants help. But what do you do with someone who refuses to believe that they are sick and thinks all therapists and their drugs are full of it?

I agreed to stick with him, through sickness and in health. But what about when the sickness hurts me and my son so badly? When he is feeling balanced, he will agree that there is something wrong, but he will only say, "I'm working on it, I'm working on it." But nothing changes.

I think you are a good mother to take your children out of that environment- I feel so guilty that I am letting my son be exposed to these mood swings.

I commend you for actually taking the steps to get out. I, unfortunately, am caught in the cat and mouse game that this disorder wraps us in. While at times I am madly in love, 90 % of the time is a struggle to keep my sanity and not fall back into depression. There is nothing you can do when they get into that state and things start to fly. My hubby actually threw a beer bottle into the wall and my 5 yr old daughter told every one that came over this is the spot daddy had to fix because he put a bottle in the wall. Needless to say we don't have a whole lot of company for this reason alone.

I agree with Cerde - what a brave woman you are and good mother. I should left a long time a go, but am unable to break the cycle.

I actually had a similar experience with a beer bottle getting thrown. I was pregnant with my son and I was trying to get my husband up for work. I had his clothes ready and he was running late because he didnt want to get up. When he finally got up he had 10 min to get to work before he would be considered late and it takes him 5 min to get there (Thank goodness) but 15 min to actually leave the house. He was angry at me for him not getting up on time and then he threw a fit because I had laid out his clothes for him and his socks were folded in on each other. He said I was stupid because it makes the socks lose their elasticity or something. And then he threw the unopened beer bottle at the dresser and got beer and glass everywhere. He stormed out without saying anything else. When he got back later that evening he was normal and apologized for throwing a fit. I cant beleive that was 3 years ago

Ruby do not feel bad, you are doing the best thing possible for yourself and your children. You have removed yourselves from a hostile enviroment. This takes lots of courage. Your parents sound like they are being a wonderfully supportive.

Cerde, things are never hopeless. You are showing great strength.

Just remember you guys cannot do anyting to help them until they are ready to recieve help. The best thing you can do is take care of youselves and your children. You can also seek counciling youselves to help learn how to deal with the things going on.

There are many good people here that have a great amount of experience and compassion. Please feel free to come on in, ask questions, leave messages, vent and make friends. You are not alone, we are here whenever you want to talk.

RED

My husband also has thrown things, but mostly slams doors and he ripped off the doorframe in our bedroom during a fit once. I am not sure if he is rapid-rapid-cycling or if he has mixed episodes- but his mood changes drastically sometimes several times a day and I have never known what triggers him. I am confused because part of me knows that I am in an abusive relationship, but the other part of me thinks I can't blame him because his chemicals are off. But then I think, abuse is abuse and probably all abusers have off chemicals? Just because he can't help it doesn't make it okay does it?

Miz. Ruby, I think your parents sound very supportive of you, and they are giving you an opportunity for a new beginning. Even if they don't understand your husband they love the kids you made together! Hopefully through their support you will be able to move forward and more options will become available. You still have so much time ahead of you to make your life and the lives of your children better.

Last night I started a letter to my husband’s parents. He is from Mexico and all of his family is down there- I think his family is one of the reasons I fell in love with him- they are such good people and they are all close. I know that they know he is difficult to live with and has problems, and from what I could get out of my husband, when he was a teenager they tried to get him to go to a therapist and get him medicated. Despite the language and cultural differences I know I can count on them. I guess my plan is to lay it out to them, tell them his symptoms, how it is affecting their grandchild and me, and then ask for their help to get him to a professional. I want to let them know that I feel like I am running out of options.

Cerde, I think it is a good idea to get his family involved since they already know his history and his family is close. My husbands Grandmother and I talk everyday, she understands what I am going through because she helped raise him and she is not bias. She wants to help me and the kids and also wishes her grandson would get help to make our marriage work. She has tried talking to him and it seems to help him--- at least for a little while and then hes into one of his episodes again. My Fathers side of the family is mexican and they are all very close. When someone has a problem, any problem, they are all very supportive, the same way your husbands family is. Hopefully someone will be able to get through to him and help.

The question:

Are we as a society here in America really growing further and further apart from our families?

With the family being one of the greatest of support groups as has been written in this thread, we can all get a little closer to our families. I feel the urge to call and check on my parents this morning.

I am glad that the both of you have families you can rely on. Give'm a big hug for me.

RED

I give my mom a hug everyday. Shes the best.