Bipolar in the family Support Group

HI, Well here is a hard one. I am BP2, and my daughter was just diagnosed BP2. Mental Illness runs in my family so much there are few that aren't effected. I am dealing with sadness, because I didn't want her to have to deal with this illness. How do you overcome the guilt, and sadness? I don't think I will ever be OK with her suffering. I am trying to be there for her, but she had pulled away. I know she is scared, but I don't know how to reassure her. I know every that once we get the meds right, she should be OK. But, this is a fight for life. I feel I have given her a life sentence. My heart is broken for her.

Hi, how hard it must be to see your daughter suffering. It's not your fault though. You shouldn't feel guilty. You have no control over genes. What you need to be doing is supporting her though this. Make sure her medications are working right. Talking to her about her feelings. This really is a fight for life and she needs to know that too. I'm sorry you are struggling. I would be too if my child were hurting. We always wish we can take away their pain. It's hard to sit back and watch. Keep the communication going with her. Be there for her. Answer questions. Make sure she is doing okay in school. Things like that. I do hope that she finds the right medications soon so she can become stable.

bpisntwhoIam.... Welcome to the group. It is interesting to me that your MDJ name is about defining yourself APART from bipolar disorder...but your daughter gets diagnosed and you then define yourself AS the disorder, or its transmitter. Believe in your MDJ name!

People pass their genes onto their kids. I got buck teeth and big ears (but a nice brain, thank you mom and dad). So far as I know, no OB/GYN tests babies in the womb for bipolar disorder. So you really didn't have huge notice you were passing on those genes. I think you should stop beating yourself up about this. It might mean getting some therapy for yourself specifically about this parent-daughter issue.

Maybe you should encourage her to find support from other BP folks? DBSA and NAMI have support groups, or she could join a group here!

For what it's worth, I wish ONE of my bipolar husband's parents had had the courage to admit that their genetic gifts included mental illness (on both sides) so that when my husband had problems in adolescence, there would have been a better diagnostic environment. Instead, both sides denied and denied and so my husband was a "bad kid" and mistreated as a result.

This is a fight for life, that is true. But you and I know that this fight can be managed with meds, with sleep routines, mood diaries, mindfulness, therapy and LOVE.