Don't know how much more I can take

This is not the man I married. I feel guilty walking away from the great guy I married, but he is not the same man.

How did this happen?

First, welcome to the group. I am so sorry that your husband won't take his meds. I understand that without them, he is impossible to live with. It is not easy even when they do everything they should and can.

I believe that when they take their meds., they start to feel better, which then causes them to believe they don't need them anymore. If he is not willing to take care of himself, you should not feel guilty at all. It is his responsiblity to get treatment. Nobody should have to put up with a mean, verbally abusive person.

Sorry if I came on a little strong, but yesterday on the bipolar support group, a man with untreated bipolar was posting about how awful his wife was. (It made me so angry).

Take care of yourself,

Terri

I have reached my limit and will not let this man tear apart my family. The meaness is what scares me. I have never felt so hated in my life.

This is from a man who says he loves me and cant live without me. I cant live with him without meds.

Right now I am angry, but I am trying to udertand this awful disorder.

so my advice would be. if he does not want to stay on his meds, then you don't need to stay with him. it may suck, but one person can only take one thing. and he does not need to be putting you and your daughter through all that stress.

My husband went through a phase last year where he was picking on everyone and very unpredictable. We were all nervous to be around him. I finally asked if he wanted the kids and me to move out because we couldn't live like that. I think it shocked him, but he has been trying harder since. So, I think even with bipolar disorder there is a level of control, and the meds and therapy make the self-control easier. (In his case, it was our 7 year old son that he was hardest on. He had to go for counseling, and is doing better now).

Kathy

Adam

I do have some fear, but I don't think he will hurt us. We keep seperate financial accounts because during his "good" time, he will spend hours (6-8) on the computer shopping. We go from sleeping 20 hours a day to sleeping 3-4.

How long have you been dealing with this? I am at my breaking point. Does anyone know about divorcing a bipolar...

I am scared to death!

Kathy

I just wanted to lend you my support, too. I agree that it is not healthy for you to stay if your husband refuses his meds. You have a right to a happy life, and to not live in fear. Your daughter has a right to feel supported and loved by both parents, not only when one is having a good day, but always. Isn't it funny that we will sometimes put up with so much, then when our kids are impacted - wham! We are through!

Anyway - I would think that divorce is divorce is divorce. I left an abusive relationship when my kids were very little, and it was very hard. Looking back now, I wonder who that person was that put up with so much crap. The song "I've Done Everything For You" by Sammy Hagar runs through my mind when I think of the relationship. I did everything, he did nothing for me.

Anyway, if the feelings of nervousness continue, along with his rages, GET OUT. Please don't wait until it turns physical. I left before things got very bad; a few years later he got a 5 year sentence for nearly beating his girlfriend to death. Please don't be that person.

Karen

He threatens to ruin me financially, ( I am the head bread winner). There is just so much to think about. I am exhausted.

Kathy