Bipolar in the family Support Group

hi everyone, Like i've mentioned before, my daughter Nicole is missing. She showed up at our house Sunday, After i had an argument with her boyfriends mom. The woman is hiding something. She knows her whereabouts, if not everyday. I told the police but they just deny it. Now the police stopped the missing alert on her because she did show up and not want to come home. She stood in the driveway and waited there while we stood at the door with it wide open. the boyfriends parents drove off. Then she made it about 1 to 2 feet away from our door. We pleaded with her to come in.We told her its the right thing to come in with your family. She said she can't. Then she walked quickly away. My husband followed her. And she wouldn't come back. I feel she didn't hit rock bottom yet. When she came her hair was done, makeup, clean clothes. She isn't desperate enought yet. This is very sad. My littlest one was crying.She was asking me why doesn't nicky love us anymore? When she did give us a call on Sat. she wouldn't say where she was, then said nevermind and hung up the phone. We were on our way to my son's tennis lesson. we have a phone in the car. so they heard her call. my son was so upset his stomach hurt and then had a minor asthma attack. It is really not fair to them or us. it's like even though she is not home she is pulling strings.I just wanted to tell someone because i need to let this all out.

Thanks,

Dee17

With respect to my own daughter, I have been told that she really is not making a choice. She is irrational. When she comes out of this manic episode and looks back, then she might have the thinking capacity to see that she "hit bottom." The mental health laws assume that a person has the ability to "hit bottom" and make a choice to change while in a manic episode. I think the mental health laws are wrong and ought to be changed.

My family has endured so much pain, similar to what you describe. We are just waiting for this episode to pass, because the law allows no other option. It is hard to do.

PS Some of my daughter's "friends" are really just enablers who are preying on my daughter's vulnerabilities. It sounds like the boyfriend's mother has no understanding of mental illness.

to sbmom, thank you so much. it sounds like you have been through a lot also. youre right i think the boyfriends mom is a problem also. As a matter of fact i emailed the president of the boyfriends college last night because we think she may be staying there. he will be looking into it. but i think the college may have said something to the boyfriends mom. i did say a few things about him like we do not approve of this boy. i received many phone calls today i think it is her. i didn't answer i figured if it was important someone would leave a message.stay well and strong we have to try and be as strong as possible with this illness in our lives thanks dee17