Bipolar in the family Support Group

Hi, my name is Nicole. I am married to a wonderful man (greg~totalluck)who has reciently been diagnosed bipolar (last 5 months). Are their any other members who are on here as a couple?

He is on meds (welbuterin). We have had amazingly wonderful times and some really rough ones too. Best way i can describe it, would be saying its a darn good rollercoaster ride! various hobbies... businesses... house projects... He has been generally grumpy and very pesimistic. I know/knew there was a happier brighter person in there somewhere. I had always been the opposite. Very happy and optimistic. I can find the good out of every situation. over the last year it really took a toll on me. I had a few affairs. Do i excuse them.. NO! do i regret them.. yes! and i now see other ways i could have faced the issues. I love him greatly... i am in love with him. I enjoy spending time with him, waiting for him to come home from work.. etc.

We have two amazing kids. they are both 7 right now. (10 months apart). Any help and guidance anyone can give would be a great help. Im in this for the long haul, i love this man!!

Hi Nicole welcome to the group. My fiance's not ready for an open forum discussion on her disorder and not here yet. I'm here for my self to vent talk and learn. I already met Greg here and he's a great guy who's come to terms with his disorder. He really wants to work hard and be as well as he can. I'm glad to see y'all have the same feelings for eachother and the desire to make your life work. We work hard together and communicate constantly. I go to her appointments and sit in if needed. Other than that we lead a drama free or as little as possible considering life. Things will happen you just have to be patient and supportive it's still early in Gregs treatment and only time will if the meds are right. Hang in there like you want to do it'll be worth the ride both of y'all have the right attitude to deal with this disorder together. I'm usually around and alot of other kind caring supportive people here. Glad to have y'all...........TXB

Hi Nicole.

Glad you joined too! I guess you just answered my questions I asked Greg. It sounds like you do love him, and that he does love you. That is a great start to repairing the damage done to your relationship. Both of you have had issues, and it sounds like Greg is embracing his treatment for BPD. You will both need to address the infidelity issues. I did some research on surviving infidelity, and found some great advise online. Do a search for "surviving infidelity" and you will find lots of sites to help.

My wife and I have survived infidelity, and have a great relationship again, so it can happen.

I wish you both the best.

Paul

I find letting my husband in one session a month helps him understand me and the disorder..You both are doing what needs to be done for him to get undercontroll..But if you ever feel you need therapy you get it right a way..Some people get lost in helping there loved one..

Thanks so much for the support. Greg has been amazing through all this and is definatly acknowledging his illness and taking the steps to a brighter future for all of us. We both have crap from the past to work out and start building on a better and brighter future for us and our kids.

Paul, its great to hear that there are other ppl who have had some of the same issues and have made it! Thats very encouraging.

again, thanks for all the support from everyone! ~Nicole

Welcome Nicole. I do have to say that your post make's me jealous. I wish my husband was like your's and wanted to change thing's for the best.

Best of luck to both you and Greg

Hi Lizz and Welcome to you too! I do feel very blessed right now. The only way anything can change is if we both acknowledge that there is a problem and work together to solve it. Thankfully we are doing this. Hugs, Nicole

Hey Nicloe glag y'all found the key to making things work for y'all.My fiance and I do the same thing team work communication and wanting treatment makes it better on everyone involved. It's still not easy there's med adjustments and changes which sometimes require being without meds for a short period. You guys can make it though y'all are doing great keep it up......Tell Greg I said hey.....The best to y'all...........TXB

Lizz,

it has taken a long time for me to get where i am. alot of crap that didnt make sense. and then nicole getting down right tired of me and my shit. i am no saint to be sure. i want to change , but its hard. today was especially hard for me. my people meter was at zero.. i was snapping at people left and right ( they were just morons and deserved it, but thats going in my diary today. ). i fought with people in my head all the way home stuck in traffic on LA freeways. i won some and lost some arguments. have you ever lost an argument with yourself? that really sucks. I certainly dont envy nicole for having to put up with me.

I hope things work out for the best for you.

Greg

Totalluck...It is very hard to change your course of thinking..I will help you the best I can..My husband put up with tantrums and alot of other shit from me ..We were told in the begining of treatment that it is very hard on the spouse of a person with BP..My husband finds time to attend one session a month with me..He knows my meds better then I do ,I think..Communication I can`t stress enough..I also let my husband have a few hrs to himself ..He`ll go fishing or grab a beer with a friend from work..I have been struggling with this for 9yrs now...I`ve been with my husband 15yrs now..We work on communication it is real importent ..Never be afraid to talk about what is on your mind with your wife..I wish you both the best..