|
Finally, I know I've found online support for what I'm going through. I've just read some stories here and they read like my own autobiography. I've been married for 10 years, and until February, my husband's bipolar and ADD were undiagnosed. My husband pretty much changed overnight - starting the day we got married. He ruined our honeymoon, was hyper or critical. After bickering for a minute, he said that he was leaving and that I could find my way back home on my own and when I got there, he would have papers for me to sign. From then on, it's been one thing after another. After a few years, I convinced him to see a therapist. THREE therapists said he was totally fine and that we just needed marriage counseling. That only fueled his verbal abuse and his firm belief that I was the sick one and was the source of all his grief and problems. This only brought down my own belief in myself, and felt depressed and confused for a number of years. Finally, I told him that I'd had enough. He HAD to go to a psychiatrist. Five minutes into the appointment, the doctor told him he had ADD. A few months later, the doctor diagnosed bipolar. How I feel is used up, tired, pissed off, heartbroken, resentful, alone and mad. I'm sure there are more things that I feel, but that's the lion's share. Right now, I don't even have much compassion for my husband because he has hurt me in so many ways and STILL does. You would think that someone in his position would attempt to take care of someone who has stuck by him for so long, despite the absolutey destructive behavior he has created. No, he is as selfish and narcissistic as ever. Maybe even more. I'm longing for love and affection. I wish for the loyalty in return for the loyalty I have given. My marriage is an emotional black hole. So, thank you for reading this far. I feel lucky to have found you all. Post edited by: sweetpeahouse, at: 06/04/2008 13:57 Forgiveness means finally not wanting to hit back |
Bipolar Family Support Forums
