Here we go again.....

I just gave up. I rolled over and went to sleep. I didn't call her, I didn't cry. She came in at 3am and took my blanket and then slept on the couch. I had to come to work and she was already gone when I got up. She called me a little while ago to tell me that we had to do something because she wasn't leaving this time so I needed to because I'm a "retard." LOL! I just said, ok - are you going to your therapist? She was on her way there but, she said that isn't my problem anymore and hung up on me.

She has done everything right as far as taking care of herself this week. Going to the therapists, calling her pdoc, taking her meds......and this is a win. She should get credit for that. Yet, somehow the list of things that I am holding together - say everything else - I get no credit for.

This is tough.

We put up with so much, accept things we shouldn't , overlook a lot and then we are made out to be the one's unbearable to live with.

At times it's difficult to bury the pride when these accusations are made. It's always on the tip of my tongue to say, "Okay, I've had enough." "If I'm so rotten just go ahead and go find someone else." Maybe it's what I should have said a long time ago and maybe all of the threats would have stopped, but then again, he really seems as if he believes his own lies.

I know how awful it is and how much it hurts.

Hang in there,

Damsel

After 20 years of this behavior, I too have given up at times. But not. Which is why I am here. There are so many stories and so much wisdom here. Everyday I read here and learn so much from people who live with the bipolar disorder as well as people who have it. It has given me so much insight on both sides. Sorry, most likely did not offer much advise here, but hopefully support. I am grateful for the support, insight and advise offered here.

I know it's hard to look past all you have been through. Sometimes, I can't stop my mind from replaying the hurtful things said and done during a manic episode. I get upset when he tells me how to do things, thinking to myself I handled everything alone for a while when you didn't care, and did just fine. I try to move past it, though, and remind myself that he didn't mean it. I know he's sorry and it must be so hard to have gone through all that, feeling so out of control.

Sometimes we need to remember how much we love tham and look past our hurt feelings and pride. Things will get better soon - postitive thoughts and hugs your way.

Terri

Wanna know the best way to love her... read 1 Corinthians chapter 13. The bible sums it up far better than I can here.

In respect to the memories of the events that have and will happen... Some memories will stay with you for a long time, but I will guarentee that as time goes on all of these memories will fade. As long as you dwell on them, you give them power. Get a therapist for yourself. A therapist will help you get these things out and find coping methods that work for you.

GOD BLESS

RED