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Bipolar Family Community Bipolar Family Support Forums General & Support how to get past the fear?
 

how to get past the fear?


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05/02/2008 18:40
ltfcrazy
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 I like what she said too. I'm going to practice talking to myself while she's blathering on about how horrible I am. I know that if it weren't for me saving her ass she'd be dead or in jail. I know what she says doesn't matter. It's all blah, blah, blah. She projects that so much she has a t shirt that says it all over the front. If she only knew that it's her....not the world that's babbling.

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05/02/2008 19:17
StuckNtheMiddle
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 Isn't that the truth...I went to take one of the kids to her dad's for the night..hummm, wonder why she wants to go so much. On the way home I had to get the dreaded call of questioning. I'm so sick of the blah, blah, yada and so on. Hang in there and know we're not alone. Mine goes from tough guy and blaming me for being controlling (he can't even control his life nor do I want to) to how he thought everything was getting better. Maybe in his eyes. I commend any of you that can stick it out. I can't, if it takes me years I will get away from it. The only one I won't walk away from is my daughter although that gets tough on a tired day of 2 of them!! Looks like we're all in this together!
It feels like the song that never ends!
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05/03/2008 06:35
ltfcrazy
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 If you fight it it gets stronger. I learned that this morning and how true it is when I look back. Every time I fight with her it gets worse for everyone. If I remain calm and silent, she has no choice but to direct it inward or keep shouting at no one. I think if I persist, with time she will shut the heck up.


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05/03/2008 07:52
GoingHome
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 I found that out months ago when I got tired at 2am trying to get a word in edgewise. When he's ranting, I'm afraid to leave him alone so I sit and listen to it. Eventually, he runs out of steam and goes to sleep. But the things I hear him say. Some of the things I could see how he might twist it to get there, but other stuff?!?!? I used to try and defend myself against his words and try to reason with him; but it would escalate things. If he couldn't think of words to overshout mine, he'd just yell dduddudduhhudd, (or something like that).
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05/03/2008 09:58
ltfcrazy
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 They do, do that. I just can't afford to sit and listen to it anymore. It hurts my head and makes me angry. Then I'm no good to anyone. Anyone who can listen to a bipolar person in a manic state has my admiration. Someday maybe, but right now...I need to get myself together again.

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05/03/2008 11:08
GoingHome
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 I know how you feel, it hurts my head too, then makes me angry. No one should have to listen. I can't argue back and if he's not done he'll follow me. What I found helped me was to write. I set up a password protected file and wrote everything that I would have argued back had I been allowed to speak. Told him exactly how I felt and vented right back at him. At least I could get it out. It made for some late nights (with early mornings getting the kids to school) but it's not like I could have gone to sleep right away anyway.

I'm also trying to get myself together again, for so long I believed half the sh** he dished out. Maybe that's why I listened. Now I know better. My kids deserve a better me and so do I.

It's hard because we're the ones who have to hold it together for the kids.

I know I want him to get well, but I want a better me for me and the kids. Take care of yourself.
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05/03/2008 11:31
ltfcrazy
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 I'm doing my best to take care of myself. I re-read a post from a few weeks ago that I started and I was ANGRY! Now I'm ok. I started therapy and decided to take some time off work. Thank God I saved some money. The kids both ate lunch and breakfast without a single argument. Unheard of in my house. They also made their beds without even being asked. I guess they are so grateful to have a calm, sane person here at night that they will do anything to keep me here and make me happy. Who knows...I'm just glad the pressure is off for a while. She's still a selfish, head case, but I'm not listening anymore and neither are they. I've been typing everything down too. It sure does help get it out of my head.

You all help too, nice to know I'm not alone. I still wonder...what the heck were we thinking having children with crazy people? Makes me question my own sanity!




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05/03/2008 19:57
suzeP
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 itf...You made me chuckle with your "what the heck were we thinking having children with crazy people." I am amused, because I can relate. I graduated from High

School No. 2 in the class, and from college (BBA) with highest honors, but yet I fell for a BP's staged, honorable CRAP. Go figure that one??

I always had imagined having a child like me, someone I could so wisely guide, and ended up with a son more "off", and a mental grind on me,than the Dad. If only my classmates who voted me "Most Intelligent" could see me now. LOL!!!

SuzeP

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05/03/2008 20:28
GoingHome
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 I know, I so wanted out so much tonight. We spent a few hours at my parent's house tonight. It felt good!!!! The kids were having a sleepover tonight with cousins at my parent's house. Man, how I wished I were a part of that. The conversasions I had with my father and my brother (he's so much younger, still in college and lives at home). I wanted a sleepover, but I opted for loyalty for my husband, came home. My father, I love him so much, so much has happened it the past, but I think ,hope, he got that tonight.....

I'm lucky, I have an escape for a few hours. I so wanted to tell my brother tonight. He is 18 yesrs younger but so much like me, 21 now, I;m pushing 40. He is going through a breakup and I hinted that life could be complicated and I would explain, ...later.

He's the only one I could confide in, but I don't want to burden him, he's so young. I have you... Thank you all for being here.

Itfcrazy: Hanng in there. I want you to be ok!

Bless all who is going through this.....
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05/03/2008 22:48
ltfcrazy
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 Suze, I was told that smart does not equal sane and crazy doesn't equal stupid. Ponder for a minute! My friends all thought I would be a lawyer, but I ended up arguing with a crazy person or two because I can't lose! I hate failing at anything.

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