His big question is going to be, "Did you miss me?"

I don't know how to honestly answer this without betraying myself or sending him into a rage.

The truth is it's a mixed feeling. I miss the pleasant part of him and helpful cooperative part but not the part that needs me to carry his existence.

I did a great job taking care of me and the kids. I also offered kind caring emails but never once said I miss you or I love you.

He is going to look for that acknowledgment when he gets home and ask for reassurance through those words to find safety in our relationship.

It's all about him. He expects me to do all the things here that's a given to him. He needs me to be everything to him too.

How do I do that when he is abusive to me just two weeks ago telling me I had a brain the size of a bug and cursing me? Blaming his emptiness on me? The message he wants me to give back is all is well and good and you are a wonderful man?

It is a no win situation for me.

Any ideas of how I can approach this without shattering him and while remaining true to myself?

You missed the pleasant part of him, but you did not miss the part of him that belittles you.....

I have a bad habit of telling people what they want to hear, in order to avoid hurting ones feelings, and creating more problems if I just told them the truth. It has done nothing but dug me into holes that are difficult to get out of.

I think you can let him know how you feel without shattering him....

(Brain the size of a bug? That's a new one on me and I've been called almost everything... LOL)

He came home and is acting fine.

I felt good when I came home.

I've been reading a new earth by Eckhart Tolle.

My anxiety had disintegrated and I was basking in warm fuzzies when I came in.

I wasn't afraid anymore of what he would say or what I would say or the implications.

I knew whatever happened it would all be fine.

Thanks for your concern.