Money

I do not like to talk about money with my husband. It seems to be his biggest trigger. In his eyes we never have enough, no matter how much he makes and what I bring home. He seems to think we are always on the brink of poverty. But yet he loves to spend our money like there is no tomorrow. He has created a huge debt for us over the years, that we continuously pay every month, because he has to have it and will not stop obsessing about it until he has it. He deserves to have fun things, I know, but I wish he would save up for it rather than spending the money before we have it.

He hates my job because I do not make enough money. I'm a substitute teacher. I love my job!! I get to work with kids everyday. It has to be the most rewarding job experiences I have ever had. I get to teach at my kids school and have off all of the same days they do. I don't have to put them in day care or Safekey. He doesn't understand that this job makes me feel good about myself and makes me feel like me again.

I am grateful to him for letting me be a stay-at-home mom for 8 years. He has worked so hard to provide for us. As my kids get older, I will phase into a better paying job. I really think education will be the route I take. Just got to come up with the money for 18 more months of school.

He's been in a pretty good mood the last week and a half. No extremes and no lows. Just a few grumpy outbursts, which he is getting much better at realizing what he said is wrong and apologizes. He has also started to warn me when he is irritable. Less battles that way.

How it's happened? I've kept my nose out.

I've let him do his thing and take the responsibility.

We have our own jobs and our own bank accounts and I contribute a lot to our family, basically my entire income. I think they're worth it.

I can almost tell whether my husband is leaning toward manic or depressed by his attitiude to money. When he is more manic, he wants to buy me everything - convection oven, home gym, brand new car, ect. (Of course, I have to turn it all down). Then he gets depressed and we can barely afford McDonald's. Same amount of money coming in, just his perception. Luckily, he hasn't made any major prechases without consulting me, and I can convince to wait and be sure it's something we really need.

I understand your love of teaching. I am also a teacher. Most people don't realize the best rewards of teaching are not monetary.