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09/13/2009 07:24 PM

Cheating bipolar husband able to change with meds?

kerstingirl
Posts: 3
New Member

For the past 4 years my husband has been cheating on me with about 10 women. He moved to his own place about 2 weeks ago and started taking meds about 1 week ago (1500 mg of Depakote). He now feels he wants to move back and work on our marriage. For the past 4 yrs he has been on and off of the medication, so he has had many up and down circles in which he always did not appreciated the family anymore and felt the need to look for a "better" life outside the marriage. Should I believe him? Can medication if he takes it the way he should, really change his ways? I don't know if I should give up or not.
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09/13/2009 09:42 PM
checksinthemail
checksinthemail  
Posts: 155
Member

Hi Kirstingirl,

Medication can and does change things.

Only you know if you should give up or not. Medicine does not stop things from happening, IMO, and there's always the *BIG* chance that your spouse will stop taking his medicine.

I would set some preconditions before he comes back. How do you know he's still not contacting any of these 10 women for instance?

Sounds like at this point he's gone from a high mania to a lower state where he can think.

BOTH of you should get marriage counseling for this, because it seems to me like you are open to the idea of him coming back, but trust needs a lot of repair.

Good luck, I hope in the end it works out that you can both be happy!


09/13/2009 10:00 PM
sc4070
 
Posts: 1217
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Medication will never take care of everything, but nothing will ever be taken care of without it. It is the first step in a long journey or recovery and discovery. Infidelity is hard to get past, and trust is difficult to regain.

But if the illness is driving it, adherence to medication becomes compliant and therapy both together and individually becomes a serious step both of you are committed to - anything is possible.

If there is a willingness, there is hope!


09/14/2009 06:25 AM
grafxbydiane
grafxbydiane  
Posts: 7846
VIP Member

kerstingirl , Welcome to the group

Meds will help some but you both have to be willing to work on the marriage . I would suggest therapy for you . also he should seek counseling as well. mine has been and off meds too it can be difficult to turn things around again .

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