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Bipolar Family Community Bipolar Family Support Forums General & Support Okay what are my reasons why for instance
 

Okay what are my reasons why for instance


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04/24/2008 08:25
damselndistress
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 my husband should not break my cell phone when he gets angry at me that I can present to him.

1) You are showing a lack of respect for my property

2) You are showing me you have no control over your own behavior and I should not trust you

3) You are setting a very poor example for behavior for our children

4) You are destroying our relationship

Did I miss anything?
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04/24/2008 08:28
WARHORSE
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There are two rules in my house: 1. I will not tolerate any type of physical abuse. 2. When you are manic, you will NOT BREAK ANYTHING THAT BELONGS TO ME. BREAK YOUR OWN STUFF IF YOU HAVE TOO.

The next time it happens, I'm calling 911. Any part of this you don't understand?

It's never happened again. It's called boundry setting.

"Is this a blessing? Or is it a curse?
Does it get any better? Can it get any worse?
Will it go on forever? Is it over tonight?
Does it come with the darkness? Does it bring out the light?
Is it richer than diamonds? Or just a little cheaper than spit?"--Jim Steinham
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04/24/2008 12:41
NewDayDawning
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 If your husband really doesn't know that it's wrong to break your things, and he needs you to give him reasons why it's wrong, then there's not a lot of hope for a happy relationship between the two of you, in my opinion. I don't mean to be harsh but he sounds like he's really out of control, and you shouldn't feel like you have to live under the same roof with someone who behaves like that.

Just my .02.....
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04/24/2008 12:47
damselndistress
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 He has no clue how he appears to others, I don't know if it would be helpful if he did. (Sociopathy)

His message is meant to say, "Fear me, don't mess with me, I'll show you." He just makes a big ass of himself.

Post edited by: damselndistress, at: 04/24/2008 14:49
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04/24/2008 13:26
NewDayDawning
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 I stayed too long and put up with way too much anger and verbal abuse from my BP husband, and I ended up regretting it and feeling like I'd wasted years of my life with him. He's the only person who can do what's necessary to keep the illness under control. I couldn't do it for him, and he wouldn't do it for himself. Now that we are separated, I realize just how draining it was being with him, and how much freer and happier I am being on my own.
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04/24/2008 13:42
damselndistress
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 My husband is out of town this week and even though it is peaceful to be here and know I won't be enduring a rage or confrontation every day, it's still hanging over my head that it will return soon, the anticipation and the not knowing when it's going to happen again. It's hard to have any peace when that is your reality.

Maybe I should just ask him when he intends to rage again?
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04/24/2008 13:48
NewDayDawning
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 Most likely it's not something he really intends, but if he isn't taking the necessary steps to prevent it, then it's bound to happen again sooner or later.

I find that I really enjoy the peace and tranquility I have in my life now that my husband is gone. I don't have to worry about every little thing turning into a big ordeal. I don't have to worry about my evenings, weekends, holidays and vacations being spoiled by his rages. I can relax and enjoy my life now. What a relief! I feel like a heavy burden has been lifted off of my shoulders.
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04/24/2008 16:41
damselndistress
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 I'll bet it is a huge relief! I can't tell you how many weekends and holidays my husband totally destroys with his asshole attitude. It really is the stinky attitude that just sucks to be around. Nothing positive, no progress or cooperation with anything just a stagnant distressing funk.
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04/24/2008 19:41
wagst5
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 As much as I struggle at being a single parent, having to rely on help from other people, and being alone.....I can honestly say that it is so much easier than the days that I would come home from work to my (now ex) husband, and have to take a deep breath and say a prayer before I opened that door. I never knew what kind of mood he would be in.......what incident from the past that he would suddenly think about, and be mad about all over again.......,

Peace of mind is such a small price to pay.

~tracy
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04/24/2008 20:41
suzeP
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 Hi Wagst!

Just be thankful that you had the strength to leave!

Everyday that HIS STUFF doesn't poison your space is a step toward peace and progress in your life.

I can definitely relate as I have in my life two undiagnosed BP's - the husband of 25 yrs and the 24 yr old son. Well we had a blow out last night as the son who is definetely on a Manic roll came over and was definitely WAY OUT THERE.

Add in the drinking, and the husband, and things went very badly. The twisted thinking, and as you said dragging negative things from the past all added to

a very unpleasant scene. I too feel like escaping, and am financially able, but responsible for my Widowed, elderly father. The BP son lives with him,

and I can't even go there in peace to look after him.

I feel like I want to buy me a small place in the woods, get a PO Box, and neither of them can find me!!

SuzeP
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