How long can MANIA last?

My husband has been OFF meds and manic for one year - yes, one year. I have been on the phone to Doctors, I have tried to get him help, of course he thinks he is fine and EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT

HE has been so mean and rotten - he has worn me out. I am ugly, stupid, unworthy of him, nothing I do is right, My head is too big, my butt is too wide, maybe I should color my hair, I need to earn more money, I am worthless.... on and on and on and on and on

HE was taking something that worked for EXTREME mania but he took himself off of it. HE is untolerable and yet he tells me he is divorcing me because I am horrible. He cannot keep a job, has run off all our friends, he spys on me, listens in on my phone conversations because I "cannot be trusted" AND yet I have found emails for YEARS where he is setting up discreet meetings with other women. He will not touch me as I am not pretty enough, but he tells everyone else that I will not "give him any sexual attention"

When I have he has rejected me called me names that crippled me so badly I had to go to therapy just to survive another day with him.

It will be ONE full year next week that he has been manic. Crazed, mean, nasty and horrible for a year. The Doctors say this is unusual and I can commit him but in this state he will be out in a week and come after me. HE tells me he hates me all the time but he will not leave. I have no where to go, he has family he can live with. I cannot stay at my brother's (I asked and he said no he does not want the husband coming after him)

Can this go on forever? He is so full of himself, he is cute, but he isn't all that hot -- not like he thinks he is... We have been together 9 years and he has been in and out of mania -- but this time he just is stuck in it...

Post edited by: DeeSTroyd, at: 04/03/2008 18:04

Love, SS

It can last for years?

I have to get out of here. It is like living with a raging bull, jumping around destroying everything. When he does go on meds will he feel badly about how he treated me? Will he ever realize? Or do they just NEVER get what they do to people because of the imbalance?

I have got to go...

So sorry to hear about your sitaution, but I agree with the others. Out maybe the only safe way for you.Didn't realise that it could last so long....Hang in there though.

When I was 21, back in 92 far before I was diagnosed I am pretty ceertain that my mania or hypomania more than likely would last a month to 3months followed by a one, two, othree day crash. It went on like this for 2 and a half years and gave way more and more to depression. so much was situational though and I was so young.(it is a progreesive disease) so I have a difficult time being certain about events in my life but this is the best I can ascertain my experience for you.

My sister just fled for her life from domestic violence prompted by the use of cocaine and quite possibly mood disorders. He almost killed her 3 months ago and she just went back!!! If you have been riding on a merry go round stop now. If you are in danger, get out now. If he will not admit a problem when you can find him best relaxed get out of the relationship because he will not improve. If you simply can not live with the abuse, at the very least separation is perfectly reasonable. If you can give him an ultimatum give it to him before or after you leave whichever is more prudent.

Finally, he might not be Bipolar. His symptoms sound quite like someone with Borderline Personality Disorder to me (except that you used the word mania) A lot of doctors get this wrong. My fiancee is Borderline and he sounds like her and by the way she was just diagnosed bipolar.

Go to the borderline group here on mdjunction just to make sure of what you are dealing with. It would explain the great hate followed by not wanting tou to leave. Was he abused as a kid?

You may have to leave. I am sorry for your pain.

Jeff Davis

Post edited by: sugarluv, at: 05/16/2008 22:20

I also had to reply because your life sounds like a carbon copy of mine. My husband is Bipolar and almost constantly manic because he refuses to take his meds. He also thinks he is really hot and well ya know. My husband is degrading at best and terrifying at worst. He blames absolutely everything that goes wrong in life on me. He also spies on me and accuses me of constant infidelity while in fact he is the one who...well again you know. He is obsessed with the bank account yet won't put his name on it, however he doesn't mind using the debit card like he is Donald Trump.

My husband also always talks about how he will divorce me and start a new family. I can't help but think that would be the best thing that ever happened to me and our son.

I am sooooo sick of whatever this illness is that makes my husband get up every single morning and start a ruckus that most families have never seen. He calls everyone and talks bad about everyone, most of all me. His mother is on tranquilizers and shakes in her boots every single time he calls. And I swear she has like post traumatic stress disorder from dealing with him over the years. I wouls have laughed at that some time ago but after living with him, I feel I am starting to get it.

I know every morning is going to consist of banging of dishes, lots of heated phone calls and most of all extreme bashing of me. He makes a point of telling me off the last thing before he leaves in the morning along with the slamming door. Usually he says things like...you are a horrible mother-which is not true...your sister hates you and is talking shit about you, your kids hate you and I fuc**ing hate you and I hate it here and usually he says stuff "under his breath" which is really at a screaming point about whatever indiscretion he thinks I might have done. A crumb on the floor, or a dish in the sink. I don't have a dishwasher so there are usually dishes in the sink in the morning, because I do the dishes after dinner but then he usually eats 2 more times after that. He also gets livid because I am getting our son ready for school and I don't have time to listen to his long discourse on how everyone in the world is screwing him. But I really don't have time and frankly I've heard it all before like 1000 times so I'm not really that interested.

Ok thank you for the vent and I totally agree with most posters, you should get out of there as should I.

I wonder what makes people stay with people who are so horrible.