I feel like I am losing it!!!

I am wondering if his family is expecting me to let this go because its part of the illness.

I feel bad for him and i will support him... but I dont know. I feel like I am crazy...I dont know if that makes sense.

I am emotionally drained....I want to run away but I cant.

I feel sad for my husband....

Now he sleeps tons for the past two days which is better i guess then he cnt get himself into any trouble.... He looks like a very lost man.

UGH!!!

I would not wish any of this on my worst enemy. I

I HATE this

I love him and will support him but I dont think i want to be his wife anymore. And thats sad.The Hurt is too much i think.

Who knows maybe even when he is stable he will be with this girl. But she is not good for him. she let him spend the money and she knows he is bipolar she just doesn't understand how serious this all is.

thanks 4 letting me vent a little

Some kind words would be nice Hahahahaha

He only does what you allow him to do to you. Having 3 kids witness his behavior is my greatest concern. They have no choice. You have been married long enough to have 3 kids and you are still there. I don't get it. I know you are going through hell, but what have you done besides condone his behavior by staying? Now daisy this is my disorder and everyone is different. I am 58 yrs old and have been bipolar as long as I can remember. I have never cheated. I don't say cruel things to my family because at all times I know right from wrong. If I do screw up I own it, cause it is me that screwed up. When you first discovered that he was bipolar, you should have been researching it. I think you have been led to believe, by him, a whole lot of things that are NOT strictly bipolar behavior. I don't understand your sorrow and love for him. We love because we are loved back. You haven't told me one thing that showed me he loves you. Of course you are drained. You are going through hell and still think it's your duty as a wife or something. IT IS NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! What exactly are those 3 kids gonna do if you fall apart over him?? The bipolar disorder is a mean and hateful thing. You will never ever be able to fix him or even help him until he helps himself. I think you have paid enpough. I think you have gone years & years sacrificing, YOU. It is your and your kids turn now. If you don't want divorce......tell him he is not allowed in the house until he is better......on medication & talking to a therapist. If he won't leave....then you take those kids someplace to get away from him. I think you need to regroup and start loving you. Get some therapy yourself because I am sure you need it after all these years with him. Don't lose yourself to bipolar disorder that you don't even have.....

Talking to his family was futile. Waste of breath. You bet they leave it to you. So much easier than having him move back in with his disorder..... Besides you have done it for all these years................

Gloria

Only you know how much you are willing to endure.

We are here to help you, You are not alone.

GOD BLESS

RED

I decided this morning I need to love me a little more its been a rough road but the hurt is there and I can not change it.

I know I can be here for him to get well..... he has three kids who need him.

I take very good care of our children and they have not and will not see me fall apart....they actually don't know any of the details.

I love him because I know this is not him....but I can't be his wife.

I have a little relief in making this choice.... because it's what is best for me and my girls.

I am wondering something though.... is it really impossible to reason with someone who is bipolar when they are not medicated (or meds havent kicked in)....because he really doesn't get it....

Anyways he is gone back to the city he works in for 9 Days...I am worried about him... but I feel relief. I can have a stress free home for a few days.

Thanks Red ....I finally realize I am not alone for the first time in years.

I always write a lot. Most of it is me trying to understand my own situation while hoping someone benefits from my random ramblings. I hope so.

God bless you and your family!

he is still seeing that other woman he wont stop....I want to start getting on with my life now picking up the peices....but i dont want to cause him any extra stress at the same time. this stinks.