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06/23/2009 11:55 AM

He moved out

Posts: 22

Some of you may not remember me, my husband became a completely different person back in Jan, when he had a horrible manic episode. Since then I have learned of an affair and many hurtful things were said by him. We have 3 y/o twins and have been married for 9 years, up till now I never thought any of this could happen to us.

He is now depressed and atleast tolerable to be around. But now it seems everything in his life is too much and too daunting for him. He says he wants to be an adult and get his life on track but can't seem to do anything required to get there. He knows he needs to do x,y,z but seems overwhelmed by it all.

He found a place to live, which at first made me very angry. I felt like he was running and hiding and leaving me with the kids. But then I decided if that is what it takes and it makes him take some responsibility then I will support the decision. He was suposed to move while the kids and I were on vacation last week, I called him the Sunday we were coming back and he still had not done anything! I told him he needed to do this or recommit to us, well that got him moving. But last night was the first night he stayed there. He kept saying he was so tired and didn't want to have to drive there and make the bed?! I finally told him to leave last night.

He just seems exhausted. His sister helped him move and she called me to say she barely recognizes the person he is, he seems so lost and not himself, yup I know that.


06/23/2009 01:09 PM
Posts: 7846
VIP Member

cogal, I am sorry yo hear about your situation now there . I guess it seemed like when it came down to moving really he did not want to go through with . So i think it was good that you finished what he wanted to do by getting his own place by telling him to leave . I do hope for you and your children that he follows through with wanting to be more responsible . I am not sure if this will happen because as you said that he is now overwhelmed with everything and is not doing so . Maybe with time there alone he will see that it will only get better when he does do some things for himself .

06/23/2009 01:17 PM
sallyoPosts: 3753
Senior Member

He probably is exhausted. I hope he does follow through with getting more help, but it may take some time.

06/24/2009 12:05 AM
jennywrenPosts: 3196
Senior Member

Hello Cogal,

So sorry that you and your husband have been having such a bad time at present.

As you know he was having manic phase when he had the affair etc.

It sound to me that he is now in the thores of a Depression eposide. This is not good.

Is he being treated by any doctor? He certainly sounds to me that he needs the help of a psychartist and when he settles down a bit (most likey given Bipolar type medication by the doctor). That depending on what the psychartist says seeing a therapist might also help.

Sometimes "Bipolar Depression can be quite serious and may involve contacting his doctor, if he has one or taking him to an ER.

Hope things settled down for you soon,



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