23 year old bipolar son

In your case, you just quoted your son as saying he had no reason to live, and that he was buying guns and weapons, so if I were you I'd find out where he is and call his p-doc and the psych ward and the police and/or grab 3 strong friends and drag him to the hospital and insist to the staff that he threatened his own life, has weapons and keeps buying more, and you think that you yourself and quite likely, society, is in grave immediate danger because your son is in full-blown mania, not on medicines, armed, and out of control. DO IT NOW!

The intervention will come later for further treatment.

With the interventionist, first I had a long talk with him on the phone, then I went to his office. He told us how to go about it, we each wrote out our scripts, with help/editing from him. Ask the p-doc, your own physician, or a social worker--you could call the psych dept at a hospital for the name of an interventionist. We had all extended close family there, aunt, uncle, grandparents and us, his parents. He was coming out of the hospital that day, and thought he'd be coming home, but we brought him to a family meeting--in a hotel room that we'd rented. The intervention was to get him to agree to live in this therapeutic community about 30 miles from our home. But first he needed to go to chemical dependency in patient treatment for his marijuana use. So he had to agree to go back to the psych hospital in the rehab unit for a week or two so he'd be clean at least a month. In our son's case, he really had no money and he really understood that he'd be on the street unless he agreed. Sure, he got furious and upset, but he did agree.

May God bless you!

Post edited by: bestwest, at: 04/15/2008 21:31

With the gun(s) he had previously purchased, and the new $500.00 purchase from the sporting goods store--

Has he generally been an outdoorsman? Have you seen he and his buddies go to the woods hunting, or the gun range for practice? Does he and his friends go camping where he would need the firearms to protect from critters?

Suze

To SuzeP, he is more recently intersted in the shooting. He purchased his first guns I believe in January of this year. He and some friends do go shooting in the woods and gun range. They do camp. I am not sure that there are threatening animals. His friends, however, are becoming fewer and fewer. His most recent shooting buddy friend is the one he suspects of stealing his wallet last night. This was supposedly one of the friends who truly "care and love him" along with the friends parents, unlike his father and I (in his opinion). I am sure you know, as no one else does, that there is no such thing as reasoning or rationalizing. I keep hoping I can have a discussion that will make some sense, but it is not possible.

That makes me feel better for you, that he truly has a "use" for the guns. While camping, you can stumble upon bobcats, snakes,etc. and we when we go to our woods/property generally have firepower with us, too. I personally removed the pistol from my Dad's house where my son stays. He didn't like it,

but OH WELL. He has access to hunting guns, when he is heading to the outdoors. I would insist that these GUNS be locked up in a Gun case, while in your home.

The funny thing about this irrational thinking--is it gets to be really distorted when they are under pressure, and their self-esteem is under attack.

This precipitaes the Mania.

Also, I have found that heavy drinking, contributes.

Even when they are sober for a couple of days, the thought process is "clouded". Their brain cells/chemistry seems to be very reactive to any chemicals.

Since you have gotten pretty much nowhere on the phone today, maybe you should try for some calm in the household for now, and let him regroup. Go back to basics, and respond to only the "Issue" items right now, and throw in a little something positive for him to build on, when the moment is right!

It's a real struggle!!!

SP

I was wondering how your son is doing in his treatment?

I am very interested in hearing if it has been successful for him and where things are at.

Thanks,

Trina

Our son (T) is now in a residential treatment facility, has been there for a week. He is taking his meds, though he is still over-medicated. He is on the chemical dependency track, due to his obsession with taking "medical" marijuana. He has lots of therapy every day, and a strict schedule. He doesn't really get why he's there, though he admits he's bipolar, and he understands (sort of) that it's not his fault. It's way too early to tell, but we feel it's a good place. We talked to several people who had or have family members there, and they all said they were very pleased. It's a slow process, we made a commitment for six months, but most clients stay one year, two years or more. They learn to live independently with their illness, try to manage their moods, learn to cook, buy healthy foods, keep a journal, keep an appointment book, be responsible to others, get job training, go to college or work or both.

Success comes after a long time. He is following the program. He's not angry, not smoking pot, not agitated. But he complains about "feeling no emotions" and side effects like tremors. And he started smoking cigarettes while in the mental hospital. I guess they got to go outside for a smoke break every 15 minutes in the psych ward, so T joined right in. So now he says he has to smoke cigarettes to feel emotion. Go figure.

We went to see him today, and I'm not sure it did him much good. It may have gotten him thinking more about wanting to come home. But he's almost 20 years old....I wish he were able to aspire to independence, not wanting to come home to mom and dad.

We shall see. At least we are able to live our lives, take care of our daughter, and know that our son is safe and getting help.

Our son is in treatment, and doing okay, though he doesn't really embrace it yet. Who would? I think he is mourning the loss of his former life, just beginning to confront the reality of his disease. So are we, but we don't have to live with it personally.

I hope you are doing okay. I wish you all the best.

This diagnosis of BP really threw me for a loop. He does not have a history of emotional problems. If someone compared this boy as he was in high school to the person he is right now- well, there's just no logical connection! I'm not saying he's somehow better than someone with a long history of problems he just confirms my old professors saying that people are not basically good or evil, we're basically irrational.

I hope you and your family continue to see improvement . There are lots of good, helpful people on this forum.