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04/26/2009 06:53 PM

So tired of my boyfriend's screaming at me!

yuliana
 
Posts: 50
Member

Hi, anybody, who is reading!

I had a very crazy day yesterday. My boyfriend who has Bipolar, is not even manic at this moment but he screams at me for every little thing! And I am the one with rapid cycling!

Yesterday he just went off, blaming me for being selfish when I was just tryiong to make him happy in front of his friends, lying how I feel, and pretending. I am so tired of pretending!~ I'm already confused with my own rapid cycling what I want and who i am at times.

i do feel bad because the meds seem to help me more than him, so he constantly goes off them. But I do try to find him better combinations. Dealing with my clients' meds and my own, I got to learn a lot of information through the years. However, I think he is so stubborn that even a perfect so to say match of meds would be refused by him.

Anyone is tired of screaming and yelling, how are you coping? For I don't think my tears do me any good anymore...

Plus, if you can help out me with my research study, i will also appreciate it, though my school is the only place I tend to hide in.

Check it out at http://psyresearch.org/bipolar by requesting the password for more info, if you have a minute.

P.S. Sending hugs and support to those who cried today or in the past! I am with you!

Yuliana

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04/26/2009 07:05 PM
tracerface21
 
Posts: 21
Member

HI

Sounds like you had the same kind of weekend I did. My husband spend it yelling at me and blaming me for everything as well. I'd love to tell you I have it all figured out, but I don't. But I'll give you what helps me and hope it works for you as well.

I really almost think of my husband as 2 different people. He checks out of the hubby I know and love, and turns into someone who feels so horrible and confused that he pins all his guilt, self doubt, and things he hates about himself and puts it onto me. Like 2 crabs in a bucket, they try to pull the other one down to pull themselves up. They are trying to get out of the horrible state their mind is in...like a drounding swimmer just trying to survive but end up pulling their helper down in the process. IT'S NOT YOU he is mad at, it's himself. TRY to remember that and try to support and love him thru the rought times REMEMBEING better days are coming.

Take care of yourself...we as the caretakers sometimes get so wrapped up in supporting and loving that we let ourselves get run down. I run, get massages, have girl time to laugh and have fun and escape having to "be perfect and react perfect" to a not so perfect situation.

If you need a friend, I understand COMPLETELY where you are at! Feel free to vent if you need someone to talk to who understands. I KNOW it's not easy and it's really hard not to take it personal. Good luck and hang in there...remember better days are ahead

Tongue pm me if you need an ear! We are all in this together!


04/27/2009 10:50 AM
CharlieD
CharlieD  
Posts: 30
Member

Yuliana, hang in there my week and weekend was spent with his angry outburts,then laughter and then tears. He's a mess and blames me for it all. I've only just returned home and if I had the money I'd pay somoene to pack me up and move me back out again. Take care of you, I'm sure in time it will pass, at least for awhile. In my home it never passes this is his behavior 24/7.

Be well, and vent privately if you want to, I'm here.


04/27/2009 06:49 PM
yuliana
 
Posts: 50
Member

Thank you, tracerface21 and charlieD!

I totally agree that they are screaming at themselves when they actually doing it at you. Thank you for offering help and a good ear. I am about to have a tough conversation that I discussed with my psychologist. I am afraid because my usual pattern is apologizing even if I don't know what for. It's easier but it will never help anything. She offered a more psychological approach to it, it's funny, the one I would recommend to the similar couple I would be treating. But when it's yours, I'm scared my emotions will not make my speech so eloquent as I usually can express during the session. But you know what, I can't run forever myself either. So, that's what I realized when they are running, I am running too, just in a different way. So, I'll let you know how it will turn out. You give me hope, thank you!


04/27/2009 07:41 PM
tracerface21
 
Posts: 21
Member

Thoughts and prayers with you! Good luck! We are in this togehter!! If you need an ear, I'm here! It's easy to say things to help others, but emotions can make it hard to take into effect yourself! We have ALL been there! You're not alone! We're behind you!

HUGS

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