Bipolar in the family Support Group

My bipolar wife wants to go to marriage counsleing again. We did a shole round of couseling - but couselor only give you tools - you have to use the tools for it to work. She doesn't work on our marriage at all but wants to go to counseling. She lies like a rug and smokes pot and she wants to go to counseling?

Am I wrong to tell her I won't go to counseling untill she stops with the lies and drugs - until then she isn't serious about working on our marriage...?

Secondly, marriage couseling wasn't successfull the first time because it isn't designed to deal with the issues involved in being bipolar.

I am so frustrated - things are going downhill fast.

mcain

mcain, I feel your pain, really I do.

our relationship is going down the tubes fast here too. I see you have another thread so I will go respond to that one as it pertains to my situation as well.

One thing you may want to check into is something call "marriage with bp counseling". It was offered by a therepist in our area and recommended by my husbands team of doctors. We went thru the course actually we enjoyed it that much that after finishing it we went straight thru marriage counseling. The course seemed to be more than "tools" given to us it really helped us understand bp and how it can take a tool on everything in both of our lives. Again you both have to be willing to work on it but that is also a topic in the course. Just a thought not sure if it would work for you and your wife or not. I hope all the best for both of you.

I found counceling to be helpful AFTER my wife was stable and back to herself. She was able then to see what we both went through because of Bp and all the troubles that come out of us in the struggle with it. Before that, (before stable) i think it is a waste of time. I remember her lying and making up stories, expanding real stories into much bigger more horrible versions etc and it was so useless because all it did was agrivate the situation and it always seemed to me that she knew it. She seemed to enjoy upsetting me and making ME look like the problem!

As i say, after she was stablized and feeling right, she was totally different... was able to feel bad about what she put me through and was able to see reason and THEN, we worked through some things. Don't waste your time before she gets the right help. Until then, make your focus getting her the right help, for herself. Gently guide and encourage her to get proper doc/meds. And just try your hardest not to bother getting sucked into any arguments with her etc!! Goodluck!

plugginalong

i agree 100%, i thought i mentioned that also in my post but after re-reading it i realized i did not. I do apologize for that.

no apologies nessesary! i appreciated your input also! cheers.