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03/26/2009 01:29 PM

pot smoking bipolar wife(page 5)

Posts: 158

hmmmmmm. point made? i think so!

03/26/2009 06:24 PM
Posts: 5


My fiance uses both weed and alcohol. After this book I am reading I think he is what's called a Rapid Cycling BiPolar. His daughter is 5 and lives with us. Yes, be grateful that booze is not mixed in there. It is definitely worse than the weed and, given a choice, illegal or not, the weed makes him a better fiance and father. However, that said, I do not tolerate it in my home- we have arguments all the time about his use of it. Anybody else find their bipolar spouse to be significantly influenced by their environment? Friends, colleagues, etc? That is what we struggle the most with and we are having a tremendous time overcoming it. On his own, he is committed to sobriety and beating this disease. But, as soon as any of his friends come around and suggest "partying" he is game. The problem is they know when to stop and he doesn't.

03/26/2009 06:30 PM
Posts: 5


My fiance and I have had the same "It's time to grow up and be a responsible adult conversation..." so I guess that's a bipolar thing? It's so nice to find out that so much of this is his illness... leaves hope for progress.

03/27/2009 11:36 AM
Posts: 5
New Member

So this is about money? Why don't you focus on the issue then and rag on the spouses about money. I searched and found this post having to do with marijuana being a problem. Sounds like MONEY is the problem!

FOCUS on the problem. Apples and oranges my ass.

Sounds like you need to calm down.

03/27/2009 11:43 AM
Posts: 5
New Member

Besides that, you're the not original poster who posted what I was replying too. Sounds like you have a whole different problem. And it pisses me off you're yelling at me about your own issues and the safety of your son.

There's people who smoke weed who happen to be stupid anyways and the weed cant help stupid.

If your spouse is really spending that much on weed, then there is an issue to be upset about. The original poster was discussing something closer to my situation than yours.

Your husband sounds like some people I've met, they buy really expensive weed while they let the rest of their life go to shit.

You think I support that? Cmon. I'm a medical marijuana user, not an idiot.

There is a difference.

I suggest you get him on a medical card if it's available, with an actual doctor and if he wants to smoke, he can have it regulated so it doesn't send you to the poor house.

For the rest of us bipolar people who medicate with marijuana, let's stick to the main objective---educating people that it's not wrong and has been known to significantly help people with their ailments.

03/27/2009 01:42 PM
Posts: 158


03/27/2009 03:51 PM
Posts: 26

Fancynancy –

I am the original poster - the guy who (like your husband) “just doesn't get it.” Since you were addressing me I'll proceed with a response.

First of all you use the term “medical marijuana.” I am not sure what that means – perhaps you could explain. Do you mean doctor prescribed marijuana? Or do you mean Fancynancy prescribed marijuana. I am not sure about the rest of us here but I see a major difference between what a doctor prescribes and what is illegally bought on the street. But even if it is prescribed by a doctor I am not so sure that other prescribed medicines don't do a better and more precise job of addressing the issues of bipolar disorder.

Does it help? There are views on both sides of this issue but the medical establishment hasn't jumped on-board with you here. Perhaps you should make your appeal to those who can prescribe medical marijuana or law-makers rather than those of us in this forum. Truthfully, your comments fall flat with me. To me you sound like a “pot-head” who seeks to justify and addiction or an affinity for getting high. In a sense I suppose marijuana will “work” for anyone. That doesn't make it the best or most effective treatment. I think you said it all in this gem of a line:

“She will probably pick the pot over you. I know I would.”

I am not sure if it is the addiction or the bipolarity talking there but you seem only concerned with yourself. What a selfish attitude. Perhaps, for your husband's sake and the sake of your marriage you should find ways to be treated rather than using marijuana. Honestly, you just come off as selfish.

You also said:

“Why go making this an issue it isn't? Her marijuana use has nothing to do with how much she loves you or how she loves life.”

Two things I want to point out here - #1. It is an issue as it is illegal and I have two children in my wife's care. #2. Her marijuana use does have to do with how much she loves me because despite my objections over it she goes right back to it. In essence she chooses it over her husband. (Not unlike you and your husband apparently). Funny, you (like my wife) claim that you love your husband so much yet you are unwilling to pursue treatment in some other way. You claim I am making an issue out of something that isn't an issue yet you are unwilling to give it up… It sounds like you're the one with an “issue” here. Why don't you take your own advice and not make an issue out of it and seek treatment in a more healthy way – it sounds like it might help your marriage.

I am sure your husband is a good guy. Perhaps you should listen to him. He seems to be acting like the “adult, not a dumb teenager.” If you love the guy why don't you compromise here and have some faith in your husband's good sense - I'm sure he's” capable of making good decisions, you married him didn't you?”

For the record – let it not be understated here… I have two kids. I have to be concerned about them. You didn't mention anything about children Fancynancy. Do you have any? I ask because as a parent I want to shelter my children from drugs and illegal activities. So I want my children to stay away from drugs – but my wife brings them in the house. My home should be a haven for them not a place where illegal activities occur. If you are not a parent I am going to say you can't even comprehend the full extent of my concern over the welfare and well-being of my children.

Also, debm has repeatedly posted this point in one form or another:

“People with bipolar suffer from a mood disorder. Marijuana is a mood altering substance. Alcohol is a mood altering substance. Anything that alters the mood without medical protocol seems to me to be an obvious problem. Not to mention the interaction with prescribed medication.”

You might not be taking other prescribed drugs but my wife does and in all of the posts on this subject – no one has addressed this point. (Thank you debm for making that point!)

Now heartbreaks2009 doesn't need me to defend her here, but if you had read all of her posts you would see that her concern is about more than money. She too has a child to be concerned for. That being said … yes! Money is an issue! She has every right to be concerned because what her husband spends affects her and her child. Whether you like it or not what a spouse spends on illegal drugs is an understandable concern. Perhaps you can't see that through your selfish and (no doubt) bloodshot eyes.

You seem pretty upset in your last rant of a post… Perhaps the pot isn't working so well. It might be time to find alternative and more effective ways to address your disorder.

In the end I think this line from your 3/27/2009 11:43 post says it all:

“There's people who smoke weed who happen to be stupid anyways and the weed can't help stupid.”

Amen to that fancynancy … amen to that!

- mcain

03/27/2009 05:57 PM
Posts: 312

too bad you didnt take time to read my other posts about my husband and my situation and seeing how hard I have worked and how much I have sacrificed to help my husband get healthy. I have spent a lot of time and effort on this site supporting people and reaching out to people and to date you are the first person that remains clueless.

This is not a site about drug abuse, this is a site about people looking for support about the bipolar disorder. The drug abuse and bipolar go hand and hand, so there are no other issues that we have aside from the bipolar.

Ironically, its been just about a week since my husband last smoked and whoa, look at that..he is stable, happy and healthy and we are all home together as a family. coincidence with the addition of lithium to his cocktail? maybe, or maybe its the elimination of the weed allowing his brain to heal a little.

and for the record, your post may have only been directed to the OP, but this is an open forum and weed+bipolar+distress+spouse all sounds like the same thing to me.

have a good day

03/28/2009 11:16 AM
Posts: 5
New Member

Mccain--Your response seems typical of those who are anti-marijuana, and I don't feel like it's worth my time typing a heated argument back and forth. Let me kindly suggest some websites for you.

And yes, the medicine from the dispensaries is different than what you buy out on the street. The street stuff is a lot stronger most of the time and usually makes me feel like I can't do much other than go to sleep. And yes, after tons of paxil/zoloft pills, marijuana was suggested to me, by a actual doctor.

I'm not going to argue, as far as the woman with the husband smoking--like I said before- it sounds like he has a money / responsiblity issue. And he's probably still using, he's just not making it an issue with you--I say this because if he was truly going through 1000 dollars worth of weed in a week, he'd be one grumpy guy right now sitting down to have dinner with you and your kids. You can't cut that off cold turkey when your talking about such a huge dose.

All I can suggest to help either of you is proper research on what you are waging war against.

( There are tons of links off this, and it's recent and not influenced by the goverment)

Best of luck to both of you as well. Maybe another perspective for you to consider is talking to spouses of people who have real drug problems like crack or meth and see how they would give anything to have it be marijuana instead.

I still can't believe your husband would spend that much money on weed--I'd be pissed too.

03/28/2009 11:56 AM
Posts: 312

My husband was severely manic with psychotic features and he ran the gamut of every single text book symptom of severe mania. Of course he spent that much money on weed. He has a mental illness and makes poor decisions. Weed is not he only thing he bought, I am now staring at at least $8000 in credit card charges for the duration of his mania.

Thankfully when he is stable I dont have to deal with any of this. I think we all need to just agree to disagree and move along, but I did want to make one last reiterated point, I am NOT disputing that there could be some benefits of medicating with cannabis, but again, that is secondary to most issues of a weed smoking bipolar spouse. The person with bipolar is NOT the only person in the equation. There are children and spouses feelings to be taken into consideration. How dare one spouse make that decision for their family so selfishly. Its self centered to NOT take anyone elses feelings into consideration, and that is what the OP's spouse is doing, no regard for HIS feeling. She has no right to do that to him and jeopordise the safety of his kids.

A middle ground can be found somewhere, but really you have no right to blanketly defend the use of weed for self medication. What is good for you may be devastating and dangerous to someone else. Just like my husband taking lithium, it works for him, but for you the results may be devastating. See my point? Its not black and white, you need to be willing to find the gray areas as we all are here for.

You are knowledgeable about bipolar and your experiences may be a valuable resource to someone here. If you could put your efforts into other threads besides this one, someone Im sure could use your support out there.


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