Bipolar in the family Support Group

My mother has bipolar II. it's very hard to live with. one day she'll decide she doesn't want to cook or clean anymore and she just sits around on the couch or her phone while I (her 20 year old daughter home from school) takes over her housework. I am sick of parenting my mother.

Today my sister and I found her account on ashley-madison, a website who's motto is "life's short have an affair". She denied the whole thing completely and I have yet to tell my father, who is happily married to my mother. My father does very well and it hurts to see my mother living off of his profits meanwhile she's looking for other men to satisfy her. I love my dad to death but am losing respect for my mom and don't want to hurt my dad.

What do i do?!? i feel like i have my whole famiy's downfall on my shoulders

Hi and glad you found this site its been wonderful for me since I found it for support.

Is your mom in treatment and compliant??

I no it sounds crazy from all group sessions ive taken with my daughter it seems ALOT not ALL bipolar people seem to have so much sex drive (I dont no how put it in words)groups Ive attended like they cheat and dont mean too not that im excusing it at all but Ive heard many bipolar people say they cant help it and have huge urges for sex mmaybe its part of the compulsiveness of the disease??

I would agree with xceldanes. Is she in treatment? Until she is in treatment, she will continue with the same pattern.

ceec, welcome to the group. Hypersexuality is a symptom of the disease. It usually manifests when a person is unstable.

If your mom has a psychiatrist, call the psychiatrist right away and report these symptoms.

If your mom doesn't have a psychiatrist (and why not? She was diagnosed with a major mental illness!), then I will just share what I would do--I would go to her when your dad isn't there and tell her what you know. Then tell her that you will tell your dad unless your mom gets an immediate psychiatric appointment to get on meds.

I am sorry you are in this position! Every person with a diagnosis is responsible for taking care of themselves so they don't have episodes. Your mother is being very irresponsible and it is not fair to you at your young age, when you should be thinking about your studies!

thank you all for the caring advice! she is currently in therapy however i don't want to further involve myself with the therapist or my parents' relationship. additionally, my father is happy with my mother, bipolar or not. i know she is not having an affair because we addressed this issue last night and she does not plan to do anything else with the website, or so she claims. i will respect her word until i have viable evidence of anything more.

the hypersexuality aspect is also hard to cope with. i know everyone has sex and sexual urges, it grosses me out to have to hear my own parent talk about her sex life (which should be kept segregated from her kids)

That is so true!!! Yuck, to the whole parental sex thing.

It sounds like your mom doesn't have a psychiatrist and isn't on meds. That is unfortunate, because she will likely only get worse without treatment.

I am sorry you had to witness all this. Your mom sounds very unstable to me.

hahah indeed unstable doesn't even begin to describe it!

Instability is what creates infidelity, bipolar people usually go into unprotected sexual relationships (dozens of them if possible, in the manic state).

Well, sometimes. Not every untreated bipolar person manifests mania in the same way.