Bipolar in the family Support Group

Please I'm losing my mind. I met a wonderful Guy (48) on a dating site a few months ago & we have been together every day almost. One day in our first month he began to act weird and suddenly disappeared for 2 days & nights. He then text me saying he was still in love with his last gf. Apparently he was with her those 2days. Then the next day he contacted me saying he made a big mistake and was falling in love with me. I took him back. Things went great for a couple weeks and he did it again. This time I was pissed and contacted the ex gf while he was there! I told her he was my boyfriend we talked quite a bit a few times. She was also seeing other guys while seeing him. She didn't seem to really care about him THAT much. He came home later that night. I took him back because he asked for my help and said he wanted to change. A few days later i found out they were emailing again. When I confronted him he began saying that he loves me so much when his head is clear and living in reality. But he said sometimes he wants to escape reality and says he cant think clear, gets foggy, and cant make decisions and it's like an alternate universe. Thats when he goes and sees this other chick. He won't get help & won't take meds saying they are for weak minded. He did it tonight. While monitoring his texts I saw that he sent her one & I went to his house. He told me he was going to have dinner with her & I left very upset and betrayed. Now he has my phone blocked while he's with her. I need insight & strength. Someone please help. Oh by the way Just this morning he said I was the love of his life!

Post edited by: Gyro, at: 05/24/2012 03:29 PM

Post edited by: Gyro, at: 05/30/2012 10:11 PM

Gyro, When was he diagnosed with bipolar disorder? Is he taking his meds and seeing his psychiatrist regularly? These are a must for stability. It sounds like he is either a Horn Dog or he is not stable. But while I can see, and know of, a bipolar person having an episode of hypersexuality when undiagnosed, and even straying, you are describing a series of back and forths between you and this woman. (I hope you are making sure he doesn't give you an STD!)

One of my best friends has a credo: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Well, he has done this repeatedly in the past. What is to say he will stop?

Thanks for replying. No he has not been diagnosed but I researched his behavior and he has every bipolar behavior & symptom. It's crazy! He says he's always had brain problems but just never saw a doctor. Could be bipolar personality disorder. He won't see a doctor. Won't take meds. Was addicted to pot for 20+ years. I just miss him so much he was my best friend as well as my boyfriend. We spent every min together. Now I'm heartbroken & in pain as he's out having fun with his ex gf. It hurts to feel so disposable. He's so detached when he has his "episodes."

Post edited by: Gyro, at: 05/30/2012 10:13 PM

People in a bipolar manic episode are not themselves. They will be detached, hurtful, self-absorbed, strange, bizarre and much more. If he is n the throes of a manic episode, there is no reasoning with him or talking to him.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this! Meds and therapy really are a MUST for him.

Thanks for your reply. As I walked out of his house today I hoped he would never contact me again but now I fear he won't. His past behavior is that he will. I just really miss him. Wish there were some miracle answers or ways to cope.

That's why it is essential that he has a desire to control the disorder; without it there isn't much more you can do. Now is the time for you to get and stay healthy yourself. I know it's painful, but try focusing on work, school, hobbies, family, friends, etc. to help you mourn the loss of your relationship and move on with your life.

Thanks for all the support here! He did finally get in touch with me & came home today. I went to his house and he's still experiencing manic. Very fuzzy, confused, depressed, cant think, says he loves me but for the 15th time needs to get closure on this other chick. What he doesn't realize is he gets the closure each time after his "episode" is over and he gains control of his mind and thinking again. So we talked a bit and then he went back to her to "let her down easy over dinner." How can I get through to him? Is there anything I can say to get him to understand this behavior or can I help him stop it? This is crazy! The other girl continues to take him back over and over because she gets $$ from him in the form of her car getting fixed, gifts, clothes, etc. Can anyone lend advice & help me??

Post edited by: Gyro, at: 05/30/2012 10:15 PM

I have a mother that is bipolar/borderline/narcissistic. My mother would never take responsibility for her actions so there wasn't anything that I could say that would make her "see" that she needed to change. After trying for more than 40 years to have a relationship with my mother I finally had to walk away.

oceansaway,

yes sometimes walking is the only way,but i can understand your pain,a mother is important,and should be there for the children she brought to the world..but mental illness is powerful,and the struggle is devastating.

sending your way lots of hugs.

Jackie.

I'm starting to see an alternate personality and when he's coming out of it he has a bad headache, fuzzy, foggy and can't remember much of the last few days. Does this sound like multiple personality or bipolar? I just really miss the normal guy I started dating.

Post edited by: Gyro, at: 05/30/2012 10:18 PM