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04/25/2012 09:01 AM

Should I cut my bipolar Daughter off Financially?

redbug2
Posts: 2
New Member

Hello,

My daughter is bipolar. She went manic 3rd year of art school. My wife and I persisted and managed to get her through college on the 6 year plan. She has a degree in Art and Art Education. We paid for all but 2k of her education. (Tuition, room & board etc)

She is now 24 which means she has a little over a year before the benefits run out. Her meds are about $800 a month without our benefits. She only chooses to work about 20 hours a week.

She has formed a relationship with a 40 year old total Loser. He does not hold a job and lives in a camper with no running water. There is a laundry list of his flaws but I won't get into it here.

We have asked her for about $300 a (new car, in my name) month to cover her car payment, insurance, student loan. True expenses are about $550 a month. Sometimes with medical visits the expenses can get to $800 a month. Getting rid of the joint account today because she keeps overdrafting.

She comes home about every other day to shower.

We can't stand the boyfriend (who is also bi-polar and not on meds) and told her not to bring him by. When she was living here we told her that she was living with us to better herself and she could not have the boyfriend over. I'm not going down that road where he would move in. High School was different, she's an adult (by age).

I'm enabling her to only work 20 hours a week and it burns me up. She has no motivation to better herself since the peace loving boyfriend has brainwashed her into a life of poverty.

Am I doing the wrong thing by cutting her off?

Also, what will happen to her in a year when she's off of my benefits?

Thanks,

redbug2

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04/25/2012 09:24 AM
ange2009
ange2009  
Posts: 375
VIP Member

I feel for you,your daughter has a serious problem...bipolar,the worst ennemy for any human being.

as far as cutting her off,..she is old enough ..she is educated,doesnt want to work more than 20 hrs a week..

let me teel you about my story..

my 30 year old son is bipolar,is also educated,never took meds for his condition..but self medicated with drugs and alcohol,had a girlfriend,she got pregnant,a beautiful little boy was born over 3 years ago,my son lost control..of his behavior,shook and hurt my sweet grandson at 4 months old..now we have a disable grandson,and our son is in prison for another 7 years.

all this to tell you that bipolar is a monster,the ups and down..the paronoia,the erratic behavior,i have seen it all,but NEVER anticipated such a trajedy.

I am not offering a solution ,but compassion,for me everyday is a realisation of our lives being torn apart ..I still love my son,we visit,he is now medicated,and has a lot of remorses..

wishing the best,keep posting.take care.Jackie.


04/25/2012 09:41 AM
redbug2
Posts: 2
New Member

Jackie,

Yes, that is quite a story. Thankfully my daughter has stayed on her meds despite her boyfriend trying to talk her out of them. When my daughter was manic it was very scary.

Regards,

redbug2


04/25/2012 08:11 PM
ange2009
ange2009  
Posts: 375
VIP Member

I am glad she stays on her meds.very important.i am here on MDJ often,i am the group leader of shaken baby syndrome.

if you want to talk ,or vent out,or feel someone knows what you are going thru..i will be here.

Jackie.


04/26/2012 11:13 AM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16593
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I think it's wonderful that she stays on medications despite the boyfriend trying to talk her out of it. It shows some form of responsibility on her part. She is an adult though and she needs to act like it. She has an education and she should use it. It's time for her to get out into the real world and take care of herself. You can't take care of her forever. When she is off your benefits, she will have to get her own. A lot of companies offer health benefits, so hopefully by then she will have a full-time job that offers health insurance. If not, then she probably won't be able to pay for her medications and be forced to go off them. I really hope that this doesn't happen for her sake. I would let her know that you are thinking about her in the future and share your thoughts with her so she can get to thinking about these things also. I'm sorry about the boyfriend. I hope that she comes to see what a loser he is and gets out of the relationship. Is she stable on her medications? I hope she is, but if she isn't then she probably needs a medication adjustment. I hope things turn around.

04/29/2012 09:09 AM
ange2009
ange2009  
Posts: 375
VIP Member

good sunday,redbug,

how are you and your family today?

i am thinking about your situation,and wish you the best.

Now that my son is on meds,he sounds better,he called yesterday,and I have some hope.

Take care,jackie.

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