yen: I just saw your post about your mother. I am sorry to hear about her being hospitalized. I hope that the staph infection has been responded to treatment. I have to second what Joy said about the downside of you walking the line with your mother. If your mother refuses to get both psychological counseling and medication for her BP then there is nothing you can do and every time she says unkind things to you you might as well punch yourself in the face because that is how your mother's emotionally abusive words are impacting your psyche. As long as you maintain any contact with someone who has untreated BP and/or substance abuse issues then you are going to be emotionally abused. End of story. You know that I know how hard it is to deal with a mother with unmedicated BP. Honestly, I feel so much better since I went NO CONTACT with my mother. I did all that I could do to try and build a bridge between my mother and me and as far as I can tell so have you regarding your mother. The reality of dealing with a person who is in a denial is that the supposedly healthy person always thinks that somewhere in their own brain lies a sequence of words that will unlock the vault of denial in which the junkie in their life lives. The supposedly healthy person thinks "If I just try a little harder I'll say the right thing at the right time and (insert name here) will get it and they'll overcome their (insert behavioral pattern and/or disease here)." How long does it take before a supposedly healthy person looks in the mirror and sees that their forehead is caved in from beating it against a wall during all that time in which they tolerated the emotional abuse of the junkie in their life, during all those years when they chased a phantom set of magical healing words that never existed in the first place? Sorry to be so blunt. I know this isn't easy on or for you. Big hugs. Post edited by: invisiblenyc, at: 05/02/2012 07:25 AM "It is important that we remove toxic people from our lives even it is painful for us to do so. If we do not do so then the long-term negative impact of their presence in our lives is often worse than the short-term pain of cutting them out of our lives." - me
"He or she had these problems before you, while he or she was with you, and left untreated will have the problems after you are long gone." - Circles2007
""virtuous personality traits, such as loyalty, empathy and being non-judgemental towards others, can unintentionally act as as emotional "gate way drugs" to becoming co-dependent." - me
"We all have a little of something in us I think. The question is does it prevent you from functioning and leading a productive stable life...if the answer is yes...then your little something is actually a big something that needs to be addressed." - kalissalea
"It's a process, and some days will be easier than others. I can't be with someone who blames me for their behavior. It's too emotionally draining, and prevents us from having the close relationship I deeply want.' - kalissalea |
