Bipolar in the family Support Group

I have known him for 15 yrs and married for almost nine sad thing is he really is a nice guy. After I got pregnant with my daugter he got worse everything is my fault not enough sex too fat not a good homemaker all lies but hurtful . I tried getting a sitter recently and he cancelled our date twice. He ignores me and yells degrading me in front of the children and family members. After a while he changes and wants to be nice again . I feel like I am in a constant battle . He says Thu.he to the kids like what are u going to do eat the whole bag of chips and be 400 lbs. When I protect them they are seven and five. He yells and calls me fat. Then when I ignore him I am having an affair. I am at my wits end. I love him but want a husband. He says they person he used to be will never come back. I am afraid and do nt know what to do

That's too bad that he treats you this way. It's not right bipolar or not. It seems that he's gotten worse. Does he take medications and have a psychiatrist? This is very important that he does. If he does, his medications are off and they need to be adjusted. I would recommend marriage counseling to help your relationship. I wouldn't say the person he used to be will never come back. With the right medications he can be that man again. I'm very sorry that he is treating you this way. My heart goes out to you. I have bipolar type 2. I've had some anger when in hypo-mania, but my anti-psychotic has taken that away and haven't had any in three years. Medications do work. Feeling like you are in a constant battle is not a good feeling. It's frustrating for you and he is making you feel awful. I hope he gets some help and very soon. Please keep us updated on how you and him are doing. Welcome to the group!

I am going thru a similar thing with my husband of 23 yrs and I also wonder if the man I married will ever return. He is medicated and they are still working on the right combination of medications and we are in counseling but Im scared that its not going to work. I am hopeful and see that bipolar can be a destructive thing in a relationship. Just know that whatever he is saying to you is probably irrational and he is not himself. Im sure you are a good person so keep your head up and try not to give up.

Thank you all so much for the support

My quick 2 cents: See if you can get him into counseling. If he won't go, then go yourself. You need some support IRL!

Will keep you and your kids in my thoughts.

Relationships with someone who has bipolar can work, BUT they must be willing to help themselves. That includes seeing the dr. regularly, taking meds, and making the effort to control their moods, and talking to you about how they're feeling.

Red: It does sound like he's not himself. Try to keep that in mind and walk away from arguments.

Welcome to both all of you!

I am new here as well and I have the same situation. My husband of 17 years, woke up after the death of a student and was a different person. He is a principal and had to discipline the student on a regular basis. The 7th grade student killed himself right before Christmas.

I knew right away that something was wrong and i thought it was just depression. Its been three months and in three months he has had irriational behavior for weeks, said mean things, done things out of charachter and now he is in a depressed state. We had a healthy great marriage before this happened. He has recently filed for divorce because he says he needs to be alone and doesnt want to show love to anyone. He has all typical symptoms of bipolar and my counselor says he fits the bipolar symptoms. He recently saw a doctor that put him on a mood stabilization drug/bipolar drug. He hasnt started taking them yet because he is worried about the side effects. I think he needs a psychiatrist but he will only go if he wants to go.

I have learned a few things in the last 3 months and these have helped me tremendously. 1. I love my husband BUT the person that i knew before this happened is no longer here. I can continue to love him and support him but he is dead as i know him. He may come back to himself and he may not but its not something i can control. 2. Set boundaries. Dont listen to mean hurtful things and continue to show a consistent message. Dont listen to yelling or accusations. Walk away, hang up, leave but dont enable him by continuing to listen to it. 3. Help yourself- seek counseling. have fun- live your life without him. 4. No matter how hard you try he will not seek help until he is ready to seek help. You cant make him help himself and he is a grown man and is making his choices to act like he is. You can yell scream cry beg whatever but the more you do it the more he is going to resist to the idea of helping himself

My life has literally turned upside down in three months. I dont understand this, our friends and family dont understand this but you may never have answers. I never thought something like this could be happening but you are stronger than you know. Everyone is. You just need to step away a little, help yourself and seek counseling. Live one day at a time

You are all the strength I need thank you I am a bigger and better person

Good points irritated! I hope your husband will get the help he needs.

I like this advise..I have added it to my daily routine.. my problem is when I do try to do things for myself..it makes him angrier.. I have a good freind of mine, that I haven't seen since january. i want to see her this week, especially after last weeks episode with him, I was working with my daughter and doing her homework last night since she has a test on wed and thursday I am tying to get things accomplished so I can go out.. his comment was "nice, now we know where your priority's lie" .. that is typical, we never ever have anyone over, so in order to go to see my freinds i have to go out but always always get a lot of flack for it, even trying to work out is a struggle i have gained so much weight the last two years, he just hates it when I ask to go to the gym like I am taking time for myself and I am not supposed to or something...its always a fight.