Bipolar in the family Support Group

so I have no idea about this and after 11 years together my husband spun out of control to a person I had never seen before.He began thinking I was poisoning the family.I was all of the sudden evil and a lesbian with my friends and my sister.I thought he was to far into some sort of drugs but after spending an entire weekend with him and all he could do was rhyme everything he had to say and stare at me with empty eyes.I have always looked to him to keep me safe and protected and now he was who I feared.I had no choice but to commit him and that was all but 3 days ago.I don't know what is going on and why after 11yrs together I am his enemy.I had a skin thick as could be until this.Not even my husband gets to see me cry but this week I have cried to everyone I know.I lost my husband and just want him back.How long will be hate me?

living lost,

welcome to a group that nobody wants to join

no one can tell how long mania will last.

has he been diagnosed bipolar...is he on meds?

you did the right thing committing him. he is

where he can get the right kind of help. when

he is manic, you can't help them...it takes professionals.

i am sorry you are going thru this.

post all you want or need. sometimes it helps to

let it out.

God bless,

joyce

Livinglost, welcome to the group.

You did the RIGHT thing, committing him. He was psychotic. And psychotic people are by definition a danger to themselves and to others.

Have you spoken to the doctors who are taking care of him? Don't be afraid to call up and speak to someone about what is going on with him. Find out what his diagnosis is, if he has one. Find out what meds they are giving him. It sounds to me like he might be schizophrenic, but I am no doctor. The psychiatrists treating him are now your friends. They can help you understand what happened to your husband.

Was he ever diagnosed with a mental illness?

I know that the first time your loved one is in a psych ward, you are numb. You are exhausted (from the craziness that preceded the commitment). You might even be embarrassed. Don't let any of those emotions stop you from being your husband's NUMBER ONE advocate while he cannot advocate for himself. You should go to the visiting hours EVERY DAY if you can. Ask to speak with his doctors. Find out what is going on with him.

Keep posting. We know what you are going through.

He was diagnosed as manic.He is on Lithobid only.we are on day 5 with first meeting tomorrow at hospital.He is doing so much better now, he no longer hates me and says his thoughts have really slown down. They took blood at 5 am today and will see if levels are ok to go to outpatient.He has only been diagnosed as ADHD as a child but I think it was mania then too.This is the first of any major episode where he was out of his mind. This has been the hardest thing I have gone through.I lost my dad at 17 in car accident but that was done and over,nothing you could do,nothing to wait for.The hardest part is not knowing what to expect or how long anything lasts.I will not give up no matter how much it hurts.I will walk with him in sunshine and rain,for better or for worse,till death do us part.I think God may have put me with him for this reason.I will trust in him to lead me the way.Thank you for all the support here.I am feeling less lost each day...

if your husband is willing to help himself, and wants help, there is

hope.

with bipolar disorder, there is no cure, but there is treatment. the

if he is willing to take his meds and go to his appointments,

he and you, can live a relative normal life. there will

be ups and downs, and probally med changes.

i commend you for your faith and love of your husband.

hang in there, there is hope.

God bless

joyce

Livinglost....you say his diagnosis was manic. That is not really a diagnosis. I suspect English might not be your first language? He should have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder (or manic depression, as it used to be called)?

:Lithobid (Lithium) is used for bipolar disorder (also called manic depression) and it is a tried and true med for bipolar. Please read up on Lithium and what its side effects are. Also know that he needs to get regular blood work while on Lithium. And he needs to always keep hyrdated (drink lots of WATER--not carbonated water, not diet soda, but just plain water.)

Hang in there.

Post edited by: marriedtoit, at: 01/23/2012 11:40 PM

I'm sorry to hear that your having to go through this, while I was manic, I ended up telling my wife that I was no longer in love with her, just crap out of left field. Things that were not true at ALL. However when someone is psychotic, which I have been a few times, I was not aware or in control of what I was saying or doing. All he wants is a quiet mind, as do I. So I'm going to give you a link to a song that kind of explains what we go through. Please give it a listen, and I hope things work out for you.

A very passionate song to his SO http://youtu.be/GoQqE8wLlmM

Marrie you are right with the bipolar .....I speak great English but had zero knowledge or experience with mental health he spent 6 days in hospital and is now back home and back to himself.he is really starting to see clearly and can't believe how he was thinking. he wants the help and the last day has been the best in a long while.I now know what to look for and to make sure he stays on top of meds/appt./blood checks.This has been the craziest ride of my life..no pun intended Thanks hooba for the link....

LOL, Livinglost. We get people posting here from all over the world. I thought you were translating something into English. You are right, the language of mental illness is a new language!

You are right that he has to stay on top of the blood checks with Lithium. It is a great med, regardless because they know a lot about it now (been using it many many years), it doesn't cause weight gain (usually), and you can get it for 5 bucks a month at Walmart. All great things.

You should read around some about the behavioral changes he needs to make---he needs a stable sleep routine, to stop drinking alcohol (especially with Lithium, which naturally dehydrates), to avoid street drugs, to tell all his doctors about his mental illness and meds (one example: pain meds can interfere with psych meds and he could have another episode...). He needs to track his moods (or you might have to do this at first. He might be too overwhelmed to do it.) Here is one easy online site about mood tracking:

https://www.moodtracker.com/

He will likely need talk therapy too. He has likely learned dysfunctional ways of coping with his bipolar brain and he needs to unlearn them.

You might want to join the groups for spouses here---if you click on my name, you can see the groups I belong to (I belong to both of the Spouses groups here).

The most difficult part of this is OVER now. He has accepted his diagnosis and accepted his need for treatment. You will still have bad days but that is the MOST important part of this!

I have been my husbands enemy everytime I tried and try to help... it is an awful feeling of loss... i had to first grieve the loss of my knight in shining armor, my prince and my best friend.. grieving was the best thing I did..it not only gave me strength and insight to what I had to do next.. It was very cleansing... I wanted for it just to go away and not be something in my reality!!! It also helped me to understand how my husband must feel everyday with his disease and him not wanting it to be real..Alot of Grace and Mercy on both of our parts incorporated with meds pdocs and counsel... I always felt less anxious when I focused just one day at a time.... sometimes hour by hour..I couldn't think about how long... then I just would panic... YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! WE ARE HERE FOR YOU, SO MUCH SUPPORT ON THIS SITE!! My husband always hated me when I killed a fantasy he was having and brought him into reality with morals and values for our marriage and our parenting... basically responsibility.. as much as I thought his fantasy land was unfathamable that is just how much he thought my reality was.. so I tried to look at it that way and not take it personal.. per request by pdoc and counselor!! WAY TO GO WITH COMMITTING HIM.... YOU SAVED HIS LIFE!!! AND YOURS AND ALL OF THE LOVED ONES IN YOUR LIFE!!! YOU ARE MY HERO!!!