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10/13/2011 08:40 PM

Bipolar family - husband and two adolescents

Posts: 1

I gave up a fantastic career and life for my children to return to my home town. I became engaged to a man at my highschool reunion and under duress (my father was dying) I moved to my home town to take up residence with my new fiance as well as taking care of my palliative father. Dad died within a month of moving here. Hell is still here. The man that I loved kept many secrets. Bipolar being the main. When I moved here on top of my father's condition I was dealing with nonsensicale requests and demands. No matter how much work I have put into things, it is unappreciated. I began to doubt my sanity. His mother is bipolar as are all his siblings. One sibling is actually psychotic with sociopathic tendencies. It has now become quite obvious that both of his children suffer this disorder but he is taking no efforts to assist them. The mother is taking no efforts to assist them. The school is calling to say that they don't attend classes. I have been told they are selling dope. I have been told they are beating individuals up. When I told what was going on I became the bad witch. No one wants to know that the 14 year old is sleeping with 20 year olds. I thought I knew what was normal .... this is not. Everytime someone mentions that they are doing wrong they run to the other parent who is just as dysfunctional. I worry about the kids. I worry about my partner. I worry that no one seems to have family values and understand that their behaviour is ABNORMAL. I am loosing my grip on reality. I grew up in what I thought was a dysfunctional home but this is severe. Obviously I cannot help as everything I say is dismissed and put in a bad light. How do I get out of this? I cannot live walking on eggshells. No one cares about the welfare of the stepkids. What is wrong with all of these people? My children love me, their friends love me, my family loves me, my new family despises me and their father just rants and rants. I can't take is any longer. I need some reasoning why. I think I have to get out to retain my sanity. I love him to to the moon but I do not think that is enough. HELP

10/14/2011 08:26 AM
sallyoPosts: 3681
Senior Member

Welcome! What a rough situation! Sadly, love is not enough. And as much as you care about them, you can't help them if they won't help themselves.

If you need to leave, don't beat yourself up over it. It isn't your fault; you didn't cause it, you can't cure it, and you don't have to be a captive to it.

In the meantime, learn as much as you can about the disorder to help understand what is going on and how to cope with it. You need to take care of yourself and your children. Is it possible to return to your career and return to where you were living?


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