Home
Home | MarketPlace | Register

Group Menu
Why wear a ribbon?
"I was diagnosed with Osteoporosis in my 30's" (Snoopy30)
Wear a ribbon
Menu
It's Free
We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information:
verify here.
Bipolar in the family Support Group Bipolar in the family
Online Support Group
A community of patients, family members and friends dedicated to dealing with Bipolar in the family, together.
    Join This Group    
    Ask a Question    
      Tell a Friend      
 
Bipolar Family Community Bipolar Family Support Forums General & Support Should I have another baby with a Bipolar person?
 

Should I have another baby with a Bipolar person?


Related Discussions:

01/14/2008 10:16
kancom
Posts: 2
New Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 My husband has been diagnosed with an extreme bipolar disorder. Our daughter is one and I want to give her a sibling. My husband has severely deteriorated over the past year, to the point that I can take his outbursts, anger, abuse, any longer. Even though he is taking his meds, he is not the person I knew when we married. He also had an affair three months ago while I was out of town. I really want a divorce, however, I have a strong bond with my sister, and I wanted my daughter to have a sister too. Should I wait it out, have another child, then leave him? I am also very frightened to know that my daughter could develop this disorder and that makes me sick to think of that. Should I bring another child into this mess? My family has NO idea what I go through behind closed doors, nor do they know about his problems. I have tried to talk to him, but it's like talking to someone who is in a mental ward....there is no rational thinking taking place with him. Can someone please help me? I feel like I am just trying to get through life instead of enjoying it.

Thank you.
Post Reply   Quote


01/14/2008 10:37
Gotogo
Green Ribbon
Posts: 93
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Kancom, Welcome - I hope you will find some comfort here.

My bf of 5 years has BP so I understand what you are going through in my own way. I have two boys (now 18 and 20). Their dad (not my current bf) had a girlfriend when I was pregnant with my second son. To make a long story short, he told me when I was 3 months pregnant. I asked him why he agreed to have a second child when he already had a girlfriend and no intention of staying with me (we split when my son was 3 months old and he got married to her the following year). He said "because I thought you wanted more than one child". Today I love both of my boys more than anything and I wouldn't want it any other way. Your situation is different because of your awareness. It sounds like you are young and there is potential to meet a wonderful man. I understand BP is in the genes. Personally, I don't think I would have another child with him, but only you can decide. I wish you all the best.
Post Reply   Quote


01/14/2008 11:41
jlh1956
Green-Orange Ribbon
Posts: 396
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 This is a very complicated and personal issue, but since you asked, I will tell you what I would do in your situation. I would not have another child with a man that I had no intentions of staying married to. You are still young and you will most likely go on to find someone wonderful to share your life with and marry. That is the person you should consider having another child with - you have plenty of time - that's what I would do, make a new life for myself and then have a baby with someone wonderful and loving - that would be amazing for you! My son is 7 years older than my two daughters, and they all grew up feeling very close to eachother - just because there was 7 years difference in age made no difference in how they related and felt about eachother. I'm actually glad that I had that time space between my son and two daughters because it gave me extra time with him before the two baby girls came along. Hope this helps.

Post Reply   Quote


01/14/2008 12:07
kancom
Posts: 2
New Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Thank you both for your advice. Wouldn't the children not feel as close because they are half siblings? Well I am 35, so I'm not that young. That's the other issue...we will have to go through invitro again to have another baby since he has fertility issues, not me. I am also very afraid of the outbursts I will face if I leave him. Can you legally take a child somewhere and not let him see her until the courts settle our custody? He is in such bad shape that I don't want him to watch her without my presence. I can't imagine one day without my daughter. How do the courts work in this situation? I have no idea. I feel very stuck.

Post edited by: kancom, at: 01/14/2008 14:07
Post Reply   Quote


01/14/2008 12:13
Gotogo
Green Ribbon
Posts: 93
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 Kancom,

I'm sure there is a way out and a way to protect you and your daughter. Can you ask how through your local mental health authority? They understand what you are dealing with. You could also make a call to your regional police department or social services to see what both would advise. Check into more than one resource - you may have options. Hand in there - be strong and stay safe!
Post Reply   Quote


01/14/2008 12:31
jlh1956
Green-Orange Ribbon
Posts: 396
Member

Send a PM
Give a Hug
 I wonder if you can find any information through your local women's shelter. They should know about issues such as this. Keep looking, I'm sure there is a solution for you and your baby. I don't think that it would make any difference about being half siblings, I think it would be more important to have a baby out of love that just to have one for convenience - especially if there could be custody issues, that just sounds like more stress and drama that you don't need to me. Even if you only had one child - that is not the end of the world - for me I just would not want to have another child with someone that I didn't want a life with. Since your husband has been dx with extreme bipolar I'm sure the courts would take that into consideration when you explain the situation to them. You have rights - don't give up. In some cities they offer free legal advice, you can look into that too - start with the courthouse and start asking questions.
Post Reply   Quote



Start a New Discussion

Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice. Read More.
Contact Us | Bookmark Us | Add a Doctor | For Doctors | FAQ | Awareness Ribbons
About Us | Terms & Conditions | Privacy | Get Involved | Advertise
Copyright (c) 2008 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved