endofrope
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My husband is Bi-polar and over he past few months has started to develope hypo-condria. Intially it was OCD, OK I could deal with that, then ADD, OK... But now, he is convinced he is an eplileptic. (Please excuse my spelling... I've never been good at it.) So he is getting advise from these people online who are telling him to STOP taking his lithium! He called 911 and had the EMTs take him to the hospital, because he was stiff. He called me while he was waiting for them however he was unable to open the door for the EMTs, so they broke a window... My son is coming home from school to an empty house and a broken window. Oh did I mention it is snowing here? This is just the icing on the cake. He is obsessing on his health, it is all he talks about anymore, literally! He now denies he is bi-polar and won't go see his mental health providers. He calls me all kinds of names and insists I'M the problem. He calls me at work about 20 times a day to tell me about his latest health crisis. I AM a caring person, really I AM! But, I'm just at the end of my rope. I can't cope or deal anymore with him. I'm left to bring in the money, pay the bills, help the boys with the homework, take the dog to the vet, cook dinner, clean the house AND I have to listen to his crap! I'm out of my anti-depresants, which I need because of him... I use to be fine! I don't have the money to get more, because I have to replace a window! I want to lay down die. I am almost envious of his problems, because he doesn't have to deal with ANYthing else. (I said ALMOST!) I'm not fully functional mentalling anymore, but of coursse to him, I could never understand what he is going through, even though I've tried. He doesn't care what it does to me or the kids, no to mention all of the things he has broken. None of which are his belongings. They are ALWAYS mine. I feel battered and desperate. I also feel like I'm whining and i should just get over it. But jeez, it has been like this since JUNE and he won't get help. We tried to get him evaluated today at the hospital, but they won't do it, because he was a perfect gentleman and no threat to himsself or anyone else. No, he'll come home and start telling me how much I suck and how I'm worthless and fat and ugly. I may be all those things, but at least I take care of my family! I maybe on my last thread, but I'm hanging on with dear life! Thanks for reading this. I had to get it out. I just had to. |
"For me MDJunction means I am no longer home alone all day. It means having friends who not only understand me but care for me as well. I am grateful to MDJunction for creating a world where I fit in just perfectly." (Yvonne802)
