Bipolar in the family Support Group

Hi Everyone!

I am new to dealing with my dad's bipolar condition. I began caring for him in August. Until then I was totally unaware of why he left his job. Later I found out it was because he is bipolar and has an episode at work. At the time he was a corrections officer. Anyway dad is not good about taking his meds and when he feels good his is the most loving person I know, but when he is cyling(whatever that means) he is awfull. He will curse at me and at times he has even tried to hit me. Today and yesterday have been horrid!!!!! he will not cooperate and is now sleeping with a gun which frankly scares the hell out of me. I have tried to speak with his doctor but feel I am beating my head against a wall.

To top it all off he is also dealing with chronic pain and has a low thyroid. So if his thyroid meds are off his bipolar meds don't work right.

Several doctors have suggested a nursing home for Dad but I am not ready to give in with that yet since for me that feels like I would be giving up on dad.

I would love to just know how I can deal with his mood swings and help him to lead a more productive life.

Right now dad refuses to leave his house and is very paranoid.

Any help you have would be most welcome.

Hugs

Sharon

Sharon - This is tough - I think if I were you I would make an appointment with a therapist for myself and explain your situation. It is possible if he won't take his meds that there isn't much you can do for him - but having the gun in the house and him sleeping with it in his unstable mental condition is extremely dangerous. I would have to have some professional guidance with this if it were me. You're safety is being compromised at this point. Sorry I can't be more helpful. If you had a professional who was familiar with your dad's case it would be really good, then when crisis arose you could call and ask for guidance, or at least an appt. to know what to do. When someone such as your dad has a gun it is something that needs immediate attention. Your're situation is worrisome. Paranoia and guns don't make for a very good mix, not to mention chronic pain in the mix. I would try to talk to someone sooner rather than later.

Seek help immediately. The situation in its present state is not safe. Guns and unstable bipolars are a dangerous mix. They can harm themselves and possibly others.

You cannot force anyone to do anything. Take meds, go to doctor, etc. You can find help for yourself. I know you love him and want the best for him but you cannot put youself into a dangerous situation like this. You cannot be there when he is open to help if something happens to you.

Find a professional ASAP! PLEASE.

RED

lol your so funny. um get away hide. the gun. maybe you should. tell someone in person. good luck. gurly

His doctor needs o know about the gun and the paranoia and what has been going on. If the doctor won't talk to you, fax him a letter, drop a letter off. If he can't get through to your dad, call the police, or see if the doctor will give you a letter to get him probated. I agree with the posts that paranoia and guns is a very dangerous situation. You are not going to be able to talk sense into him. You need to get outside professional help. A very detailed letter to the doctor may get the doctor's attention. . Please get professional advice and help for this.

It is a priority to get the gun away from him. He needs hospitalization to get him stable. Call Crisis Service and they will come with the Police and bring him to hospital in an ambulance. When he is in hospital, tell him you are turning the gun into the police. A person that has a mental health diagnosis is not allowed to have a gun. It is illegal. He cannot purchase another because they do a background check and it will not pass. Have someone with gun experience unload the bullets and ammunition. His incident will go on his record and he may not be able to stay in the same field. Let your dad know that you love him. Respect him. Bipolar is a chemical inbalance illness just like diabetes is. His paranoia will stop once he is stabilized. This is part of the mania stage. Then there is the depressive stage.

Bipolar people are very high risk for suicide esp. when they do not sleep. Your dad needs to take med's properly and get stabilized. You might need to go through different meds to find the proper one. He needs to get blood levels for certain ones like Depakote or Lithium. He also needs to eat fresh foods as much as possible and exercise.

Try to keep environment calm as much as possible. SLEEP is the #1 priority. Get him to go to bed at a certain time each night and wake up at a certain time during the day. Usually 10 pm and before 12 am is good. Get 8 hrs of sleep. Exercise daily at least 30 min. Volunteer or work if possible. Stabilization is priority. Good luck. One day at a time.

This post is three years old. I hope that samskid will come on and update us.