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12/22/2007 13:58
armywifemommaof3
Posts: 7
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Hi, I am new to this. I have never joined a support group or even looked for support outside of family. I have been married to my high school sweetheart since 2004. We have been together since 2001. I am currently in a bad situation with him. Myself and many of his family members believe that he is bipolar. Although, he has never been diagnosed with it, only bc he will not go get help. The whole 6 years that we have been together have been sort of rocky, having some good times and some bad. As the years pass, the symptoms seem to be getting worse. We have three small children, ages 4,2 and 1. We are also currently pregnant with the fourth. We are a very young couple, ages 23 and 22. The things that I am currently dealing with is that he will choose not to come home from work, not contact me, I have no contact with him when he is gone. So, I have no idea where he is or what he is doing or if he is even ok. In the past, he would only take off and leave or not come home, if we had recently got into an argument or if something was going on in his life. It now seems as if he is doing it for no reason. Things can be as good as expected and then he just doesn't show up, or says he is going somewhere and will be right back and never shows back up. When he comes home, he says that he doesn't know why he does it anymore. We will go through times where everything will be soo great for a couple of weeks, but then something will happen and he will take off again. It makes me feel as if he is afraid of commitment or afraid of a stable life. When he comes home and I try to talk to him about all of this, he says that he only does it bc he knows that I am a stable environment for him. He knows that I will always be here for him. Things have NEVER got physical with us, but he does abuse me emotionally, verbally and mentally. He says that he does not mean the things he says later on, but he is just mad or upset and doesn't know how else to defend himself. I am at the point where I am ready to just give up and walk away. But letting go is so hard to do and everyone else has given up on him, so I don't want to also. I love him with all of my heart and he says that he loves me too. He has had a VERY rough childhood,his father just recently passed away and his mother is sick and has Lupus. I don't know where else to turn to and I am just seeking advice on how to deal with him and his situation and what you think on the diagnosis. Does it sound like he may be bipolar or am I the one that is going crazy now??
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12/25/2007 16:46
AnnaNAmos
Posts: 67
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You may want to go to a shrink yourself and tell him what he has been doing and see what he says. My hubs was always going out, and not telling me where, and staying out. FOR YEARS

Much verbal meanness

, not sleeping, gambling, drinking, fights

Anyway I went to see someone it helped

Good luck

They can be crazy makers

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01/20/2008 14:09
AJC
Posts: 2
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My dear, you need to remove yourself and your children now! They do not deserve to be in that environment, and neither do you. He may be bipolar, but he needs to seek help, encourage him to do so. Then you can decide in what direction your marriage should go.You are both soo young... You only have one life, it should be a good one for all of you!Your children deserve better, and consider birth control, it is expensive raising children,start planning a good life now! BEST wishes!

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01/20/2008 14:58
soopergirl3737
Purple Ribbon
Posts: 147
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Hi wifeandmomma,

Your hubby sounds just like my ex-fiance. He was bipolar and even though he was on meds his mood could swing in a matter of seconds. It was scary to be just fine and then have him yelling at me. I dont think he was on the right meds because he still had swings daily, but there is hope. My sister who is also bipolar has finally found the right meds and she is doing great. She is not that mean and abusive person that she used to be. I think that you need to get you and your kids away from your husband until he gets help. No matter how much you love him, you cant let him abuse you. I stayed with my fiance and let him treat me like crap for way too long because I love him and I didn't want to abandon him. You cannot stay in a potentially dangerous situation.

I suggest you leave, but still offer your love and support until he gets the help that he needs. If he chooses not to get help, then he is choosing to hurt you and your kids and that is not good. I will pray for you. Feel free to write whenever you need to talk or cry on someones shoulder.

xoxo,

soopergirl

a day without laughter is a day wasted.
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01/23/2008 13:59
Cheryl1312
Posts: 3
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You are 22 and 23 and expecting your 4th child? I'm not sure labeling him at this point is a good idea. He may just be having strong issues with just plain old COPING and you are bearing the brunt of it. But you can't know, not unless you can convince him to seek help.

I don't mean to sound patronizing, I honestly don't. Your issues are real and it has to be very difficult for you and your family.

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