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11/20/2010 08:45 PM

Another rage from my 11 year old

ChickenMama
ChickenMama  
Posts: 55
Member

Sad On Wednesday he was painting in his room with water colors and came out with paint on the back of his shirt and done the front of him from head to toe and said he didn't know how it happened. Later on my husband and I found out he had gotten mad and thrown the contents of his rinse cup onto his wall. From there it got on the ceiling, the books in the book case, the pillow and of course all over the floor and any toys within the area.

He ended up going into a full blown rage from there and began pulling his hair out and hitting himself on the forehead and squirming all over the floor as though he were possessed by the devil himself. My husband had to restrain him until he would talk normal. He was upset because he says that he has no friends at school anymore and that they have all turned there backs on him and so did the girl that he likes and has gotten close to. Then he turns around and says that no one will leave him alone and that they just keep bothering him so that he will make them things. He does oragami stuff. When we pointed out the difrence of the things he had told us he said that he can't keep track of his thoughts and that he forgets things all the time.

Well the next day he woke up in a little better mood so I was hoping school would go better. Instead when I picked the kids up from school the second he got in he started crying and yelling. The girl he likes won't even stay around him and she just walks off before he can talk to her. And the other people he used to talk to are doing the same thing. So for two days he was incosolable. My husband even tried to make him feel like he wasn't alone by telling him that he has had to restrain me before and that I have gone into many of the same states as he was in. I think it actually made it worse. He doesn't want to be like me because he doesn't think he has anything wrong with him and doesn't understand that with help he can learn to cope with BP and try to stay away from as many triggers as possible.

Does anyone have any advice? Ermm

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11/20/2010 09:04 PM
marriedtoit
marriedtoit  
Posts: 11540
Group Leader

I don't have any experience with bipolar children, but I wanted you to know I read your post and feel terrible for you. I hope you get some good advice from other members.

11/20/2010 09:07 PM
ChickenMama
ChickenMama  
Posts: 55
Member

Thank you. Any little bit of encouragment or anything postive is helpful.

11/21/2010 01:57 PM
Suzanne2
 
Posts: 14
Member

Sorry I don't have any advice, what I have are questions. BP runs strongly in my family too. What would be the first signs that my 13 year old daughter had inhereted it? I'd appreciate your knowlege.

Thanx, Suzannetoo


11/21/2010 02:29 PM
ChickenMama
ChickenMama  
Posts: 55
Member

I always thought that my little guy was just very PASSIONET or sensitive. But it continued to get worse. Then he eventually got put on medicine for ADD and over time his moods would change from hour to hour or day to day and become more drastic. We thought at first it was because of the trauma in our family over the last year. We found out that our oldest son who is now 14 was molesting his 9 year old brother and had done just as bad things to our 11 year old. So between the abuse and the meds our therapist thinks that they accelerated his BP. I knew something was going very wrong when he would go into a super hyper happy state of mania and he would have this laugh and look that made him look like he was going to crack at any moment. He believed that if he wasn't that way that it meant he was never happy. Then the rages would come and the self hate and the hating of everyone else. And the confusion. He doesn't thik he should be alive and he thinks his brothers want him gone. Then he turns around and says that no one will leave him alone. My husband has restrained him so he wouldn't hurt himself. With all this going on we talked to pdoc about it and he put him on Lamictal. Our pdoc doesn't like to put a label on whatever kids might have but our therapist says there is no doubt that that is what he has. I had a feeling that he had BP but I was hoping he didn't but now that it has been figured out it all makes a lot more sense. His symptoms aren't as bad as mine and he is afraid he will get like me but the thing is is if we can keep him taking his meds he won't end up doing the things I did that he doesn't even have a clue about. If you have BP look for any like symptoms in her and bring it up to pdoc along with all the behaviors you are concerned with.

11/22/2010 06:40 PM
owutatangledweb
owutatangledwebPosts: 2771
Senior Member

I just wanted to point out to both of you that there is another group at MDJ called "Parents of Bipolar Children". There are many parents there struggling with the same kinds of issues. I have a 19 year old that was diagnosed when she was 16. Although I am certain that it had started to show earlier not that I look back.

Medications are a tough issue when they are so young. The ADHD meds can sometimes cause more harm than good. My daughter had to get off Adderral altogether. I don't know how long your son has been taking Lamictal, but it does take awhile and several adjustments to get the full effect. I hope that it will help your son. Just keep in close touch with the pdoc. I also found it very helpful to journal the meds and meds changes and corresponding behaviors. This served as my memory in a harried life, and as a lifesaver when my daughter was hospitalized and again when she switched pdocs. They had a complete history of what was tried, what seemed to work, what didn't, and what wasn't prescribed correctly. It would encourage you to do this.

The second thing is to find a good therapist who can get your child to understand what he is really feeling. I found that my daughter had a very difficult time identifying what she was feeling. She's 19 now, went through some really good outpatient therapy this summer and for the first time last week told me that the therapy helped her to put a name to her feelings. Everything manifested itself in anger, irritibality, reckless behavior or self-destructive behavior. When perhaps the real feeling underneath was disappointment in something, or frustration, or feeling being hurt by someone. She needed to have learn to identify those underlying feelings, be validated in them, and then learn how to cope with them. Before that, I would try to help her identify her feelings and I didn't always get it right and she'd just get mad. This is just my own personal experience. I also found out that until the meds were right, therapy was only minimally effective. So, hang in there with the meds until they are straightened out. It will happen if you stay on top of it and be patient.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. This is a very supportive website and has gotten me through a lot over the past year. I hope you will find lots of support here.

Prayers and hugs.....


11/22/2010 07:51 PM
ChickenMama
ChickenMama  
Posts: 55
Member

Thank you so much. I will definitly start keeping a journal since I can't even remember what I'm doing half the time.

11/22/2010 09:45 PM
marriedtoit
marriedtoit  
Posts: 11540
Group Leader

I should have thought of that--for a year and a half after my husband's diagnosis, I kept a mood diary. It noted the weather and his mood each day (but some weeks I would fill all the days in on Saturday!). It really helped me identify the seasonality of his bipolar and the "danger zones" (like the winter holidays) when I need to give him extra slack and take care to lighten the load as much as I can. I am not sure exactly how that will translate to a parent-child relationship, but there should be a real advantage to seeing the patterns. I was very happy when my husband took over the mood chart (he does it on his computer, every morning reporting how he felt the day before...and his program imports the weather forecast from another site, so it is really easy). I think you should work your way to encouraging your child to do as much of the monitoring of his illness as he can.

11/23/2010 11:24 AM
ChickenMama
ChickenMama  
Posts: 55
Member

We are working ong getting him to even remember to do simple things at this point. His short term and some long term memory is horrible lately. Today one of his brothers had something at school yesterday about him and it was VERY embarrasing, my boy with BP still has accidents at night but not all the time but they are regular for sure. Anyway, because he thought he was being made fun of he told one of the most private things he knew of to hurt him. That through him right back into his super anger mood this morning right before leaving for school. Plus he didn't tell me that he had a morig detention to serve today and that he missed his yesterday to. So we had to rush. And no matter what his teacher's and us do here he still winds up with icomplete assignments and at the end of the week he has earned him self usually 2 or 3 days worth of detentions.

11/23/2010 05:22 PM
owutatangledweb
owutatangledwebPosts: 2771
Senior Member

Suzanne2, for you:

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-support-forums/ general-support/1670998-the-four-types-of-bipolar#1670998

I thought this might help you. Explore the forums for articles as well.

I'm sorry both of you are going through this. Education is our weapon in this illness. Learn all that you can so that you can advocate for your child.

<HUGS>

Post edited by: owutatangledweb, at: 11/23/2010 05:23 PM

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