Bipolar in the family Support Group

My husband was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder a little over two years ago. We have been together for almost 22 years now, starting our relationship back in high school when I was 15 and he 16. He has had bi-polar episodes our whole relationship however I just never noticed. Having been together from such a young and already emotional time in our lives I just excepted his radical mood swings as part of his personality. His swings were on a wide pendulum, with months of highs, and months of lows. It was not till a midlife crisis filled with behaviors so completely unlike him and a rock bottom low that seamed to have no end that I convinced him to see a Doctor who quickly diagnosed him. He has been medicated now for two years. At first I was very happy to have him so even. Gone where the unpredictable episodes, but gone now is also all his passion,creativity and hunger for life. I miss that part of the old him and it is depressing to see him so mild and passionless now. Has anyone else experienced this?

Yes! I, too married my high school sweetheart. I've known him for over 25 years now. Like you, I too thought his mood swings, his irrational behavior was his personality. However, he hit his lowest last year. He is now diagnosed. One thing different, though is that I had to leave our house for him to see a doctor. His family "looks after" him - basically makes him go see the doc, do things for himself. I surely do miss him, but I am not yet ready to go back.

All of the things he told me, calling me names, throwing things at me, - I just cannot go back to that.

I do miss his passion for life. Passion for our relationship.

etbhumbert , Welcome to the group . I am glad that you have found us .The meds that are given have different affects on different people . Have you sought counseling for you yourself ?

Post edited by: grafxbydiane, at: 08/30/2010 06:54 PM

Yes, I know what you mean. I don't think my husband is totally on the right medications yet, but he had more energy and excitement with doing things, when he was not on medication.

Your situation is similar to mine in a way. My husband too didn't show his first manic episode till his midlife crisis thing, which may be part of this also. I think the hormones that change this time in a man or anyone, can be a trigger along with stresses also, to bring out their bipolar so it is noticeable and alarming. I think alot of ppl who have gone there whole lives with this disorder, don't get diagnosed till midlife like this, when like I said, the hormones start going wanky and just exaserbate everything.

But, I do miss the fun guy, that was unmedicated before he went on his manic episode. Even when he was manic, it was hell... but some of it was fun.. I thought he was really coming into himself... even though he was mean and alot of other things going on then, but he seemed more confident and he was able to communicate better. Now, that he is not manic anymore and on medication, the communication is back to almost nil.

Post edited by: frazzled, at: 09/02/2010 04:30 AM

Post edited by: frazzled, at: 09/02/2010 04:33 AM

Mania is tricky. Everyone wants to be in a mania. I am an unmedicated bipolar (I went off my meds to nurse my baby) and I am yearning for a mania. During a mania, we feel so elated, invincible, convinced we can conquer anything and everything. The creativity is just so there. When I am in a mania, I don't eat, I don't sleep, I sew and knit like crazy, my house is spotless (and I have 7 young children), the laundry is all caught up, I cook (and I hate to cook), but...my thoughts are racing, I'm not getting proper rest and nutrition which makes the crash harder.

My husband loves when I am in mania mode, as do I, but it's either one extreme or the other. For me, a mania is sure to bring about a huge crash. My husband likes me in a mania so much he doesn't even want me on meds (he thinks they are no good)...because my moods are even and stable. That zest for life that is there during a mania is now quieted, there is no spontaneity and life is more somber (not depressing, just mellow).

I hope this gives you all some insight as to the bipolar side of it. I'm gaining insight as to how and why my husband feels the way he does in regards to my disorder.

Peace to you all!

When my husband went through his major manic period (a couple months long, a couple years ago), it was hell. His moods during that time were so up and down, totally not stable in a sense of the word. I hope that your husband starts to agree soon that meds are a necessity. Since mine has been on his new meds for two years, things have been normal. I honestly don't see how mania moods can be considered typical.

I have never seen anything more horrible and evil than manic people. Mania is no fun to loved ones - all manic people I have seen are just plain selfish and are lacking any sense of empathy.. Iilsea, your husband has no idea what he is getting into ... You might just have been hypomanic. Just wait when the real mania hits, then you home, your children, your savings and everything else what you now have will be gone.