Bipolar in the family Support Group

My husband is bipolar but won't willingly take meds. He had a motorcycle accident while 1000 miles away with our son (who was on his own bike). My DH broke many bones and won't work for probably 5 or 6 months. He is laid up in bed for at least 1 month due to the rod in the femur and a few other broken bones in his leg and two vertebrae in his back. He is home in a hospital bed in the living room. He had taken to telling me to shut up when he was trying to tell someone something which was all the time. I never get a chance to speak anymore here. I never have the opportunity to do anything without it being wrong - though I do it all anyway without him and them he will jump in when he hears me talking to tell me how to do it. He tried to push it to much and I got furious with him. It turns out he has this thing that he needs to prove he is tough - even if it costs him his life or his mobility later. And he has to feel needed. None of us can know how to do anything... he hollers to bring us back in from crossing the cows or planting a tree or mowing to tell us we are doing it wrong or what are we doing so he can criticize. I do love him but I have lupus and mixed connective tissue disease and he won't even acknowledge that I am sick - even knowing that my kidneys are functioning at less than 50% he just makes some strange noise and says whatever and turns away.

Has anyone else ever dealt with a bipolar spouse who has been laid up for a while. He did a lot of the same stuff before it just seems magnified now - or I am more tired. We have no income - and he wants to find a way to buy another motorcycle.

wow have you tried for disabiliy?? im sorry for your loss

Is this a personality change with him? Is the BP a new issue? If the BP is not new, but the other issues are, it could well be issues brought on by a head injury during the accident. Look in to it

Post edited by: scotty04901, at: 07/04/2010 06:12 AM

The BP has been here as long as I have known him. It is just getting a lot worse right not. I hadn't thought about it being a head injury that has made him think that everyone else is an idiot but I will have to watch him for signs of that and talk to his doctor too.

It would be nice if there were something that could work quickly to help him/us but probably not.

As for disability, unfortunately we never did get him any short or long term disability in place. We had been working with a life insurance person and had just switched his life insurance to a different policy and we were going to be starting on the disability but money was tight with the economy the way it was and he is self employed - with me being disabled it was really pushing it to afford it. Should have pushed I guess!

Thanks for the answer. I ended up answering my own question with one of your other postings

as for disability, you can apply for disability through SS

vtfarma , It does seem like things are magnified more when they are sick physically or injured . I am sorry you are going through . As everyone here has said you to take care of yourself and try to tune out his comments.

VT: been there done that. OMG what a nightmare. The pain meds made my SO cycle more often, and much harder and longer. It just sucked. In hindsight, I had more leverage that I realized. He was dependent on me for everything. LOL . Should have used that time as an opportunity to stuff his meds down his gully and get him stabilized. Live and learn. Yes, a major injury, trauma, lights up the BP like crazy. Its effects can last for up to 2 years.

My ex cracked his ribs the day we moved into our new place. He has BPII rapid cycling. The pain meds they gave him for the ribs sent him into a really bad episode. He cheated on me with a girl he knew from high school and never looked back, last I heard they were engaged. The bottom line trauma and pain med's can both trigger really bad episodes.

Applying for disability is free. Takes a while but it's worth it. We applied last year and my boyfriend had to go to a lot of doc and psych tests but he got it. Then again if your husband won't take meds I would make that that a priority. It puts a strain on your condition which isn't fair at all. He needs to admit you are sick and when he doesn't take responsibility for his condition he's making your condition worse. Sorry your plate is so full! Good luck!