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04/29/2010 03:42 PM

Having more children with bipolar husband?

MisLadi23606
 
Posts: 15
Member

Hey group... Haven't posted in a while but i know where i can come to for advise and wisdom. My son will turn 3 in June and i just had the gastric byepass to the urging of my husband, and now he is pressuring me to have more children... now I would love more kids but Knowing what i do about bipolar/schizoeffective disorder i know that it is genetic and that it could be passed down. He has several family members with mental health issues. Now I would love to have a house full of kids if we did not have to battle this disease on a constant basis. I don't want to leave my son by himself. But the potential for me to pass this problem on has me worried. I don't think i could survive two people in my house hold with this problem he takes up so much of my time all ready. I don't know what to do... I truly don't like i said i would love to have more children but my husband has me on such and emotional roller coaster that I don't know if i can mentally handle it. When I was pregnant with my son i was so distraught and upset all the time because of his depression and mood swings, anxiety attacks... any advice is welcome...
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04/30/2010 08:21 AM
cptblack
cptblack  
Posts: 12381
VIP Member

I know your fears. I have 2 sons by a woman who was not Bipolar and my lil one who has both parents Bipolar. The whole family is trying to tell his doctor it is genetic and he is saying "No it isn't"! We don't have much choice in doctors due to him being on a county health care plan.

After learning the genetic implications I had a vasectomy and she had her tubes tied. I can't see inflicting this on a child. No way. You might try explaining this to your husband and just ask him "Do you want a house full of Bipolar Depressive children? Could you REALLY handle it if I was hospitalized for a long term"? If he's not out in La-La Land I think he will know the right answer.


04/30/2010 03:28 PM
grafxbydiane
grafxbydiane  
Posts: 7846
VIP Member

MisLadi23606, You are right in being concerned about having more Children . It is really up to you to decide whether having more children would be the best thing . It is very difficult being with someone that suffers from mental illness it really is a personal decision .

04/30/2010 09:15 PM
CynthiaJ

MisLadi, it's a personal decision that only you can make. There are many people with bi-polar disorder who say that having children has been the best thing in their lives. I have the disorder and I am not the only one in my family with it. Because of the tremendous pain and difficulty it has caused me, I have chosen not to have children because I didn't want to take the chance of passing this on to my children. Also I didn''t know if I could handle the hormonal changes of being pregnant and then being unmedicated ontop of that. I did not know if I could handle the stresses of raising an infant or a toddler and being BP-II. There is a lot to consider. My only advice would be to not have more children if you have any doubts or reservations about having more.

05/04/2010 08:58 PM
bpdandb
 
Posts: 33
Member

I can kinda relate to how you feel, to an extent. I'm single, never been married and never had kids. Still, I'm at an age where I've started considering these things, and you have every right and reason to be concerned. There's the issue of raising children as a bipolar parent and then the issue of passing it on, and the issue of the struggle to raise a child with that sort of disability! I agree with the others who've posted - its a very personal choice that only you can make. But don't let fear be the only factor of your decision. Many many bipolar people raise their families succesfully despite their daily struggles, both parents with as well as without children who are bipolar. And as someone who has the same problem, you'll have a good idea from your experience as to how to quickly recognize, treat and advocate for your child if they do inherit this mess. Just something to consider.
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