Bipolar in the family Support Group

Yesterday everything seemed like it was going so well. My bipolar boyfriend actually got a job, after looking for months. We were not argueing all day. Things were peaceful. Then it just blew up. Could getting the job have thrown him into a mania? I can usually tell if something is going to trigger an episode, but this just seemed to come out of no where. It got so bad I thought I was going to end our relationship right there. I am ashamed to say he pushed me to my breaking point and I slapped him. Things finally calmed down, but I really am having a hard time finding peace after last night.

Karen, so sorry this happened. If he has been off work for a long time, it is possible that the stress of starting a new job after all that time, flipped him into an episode. Stress is such a huge trigger for BP. Don't start feeling guilty. This all took you by surprise, you've been living it for a long time, it gets to all of us after awhile. You slipped, forgive yourself.

Anything new like a job will cause stress and can definitely flip him into an episode. I agree with owutatangledweb: don't be too hard on yourself. We also have our breaking points. The important thing is to forgive yourself, and keep going.

I appreciate what everyone is saying. Its just so hard sometimes when you feel like you have to be the adult, and then it like I feel like I sunk to the level he is on when he is in an episode. I also dont feel good about being physical, not that I could physically hurt him.

karenmsmith77, sometimes times an event that is stressful can trigger mania and that may have for him .Hopefully things will calm down for the both of you .

Post edited by: grafxbydiane, at: 04/23/2010 09:04 PM

I understand exactly what you mean, it's like when I get angry, they've won. Then I'm disappointed in myself for, like you said, sinking to their level. This is especially true with my teenager (who is 18). Luckily, this has only happened once. You will feel better about it in a few days.

Everyone loses their cool once in a while.

I agree with everyone. Any stress--good or bad--can be a trigger. Is your BF in treatment? Because a good psych or therapist will work with BP people to help them realize what their triggers are. You might want to keep a diary so you know what makes him go off the deep end.

Losing your cool--I have definitely done that. I would say (sorry, but gotta tell it like I see it) that you have major grovelling to do about the slap. I think we endure a lot of abuse, as the non-BP person, but I would draw the line at anything physical. Why? An excuse for your BP loved one to be physical--and maybe when he or she is pyschotic?

I totally understand WHY you were so angry, though.

Merriedtoit I appreciate what you are saying. Its what I was already feeling. I don't know I need to grovel exactly, but I have appologized. Its not my normal nature and I am againstt being physical for any reason. And I agree it does allow him the perfect excuse to be physical. He has never been that way with me, but I am not so naive to believe it not possible.