MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
08/12/2008 11:36 AM

i have moved out and on....

wannayell
 
Posts: 22
Member

I have said I was going to leave once before...but this past weekend I did leave. I have my own place where I am happy. I'm upset that this is what it had to come to but I could no longer go home and see him and wonder what mood he would be in tonight, no longer walk on eggshells....no longer be unhealthy for me.

So for the past 5 days he has done nothing but call and yell at me or tell me how much we need to talk and how sorry he is, well he is telling about 95% of it to my voicemail....I did talk to him last night and let it out all of the pain, hurt and anger that I have had and finally that is what I needed to do and now I think and hope he got the point since he hasn't called today....the point is it is over

Reply

08/12/2008 01:40 PM
rebeccah
Posts: 14
New Member

Wannayell,

I'm also in the process of moving on from my relationship. My bipolar husband is leaving moving out in about 10 days. I'm grateful that we've managed to keep it amicable so far, but I sure am relieved that the end is in sight.

I'm already feeling a lot healthier and more confident that this is the right decision. It has been a hard few years, and I believe that only the most amazing people can endure this for long. I've decided that my form of self-preservation doesn't include dealing with a bipolar husband.

I hope that you can get through your ordeal with grace and move on to the happiness you deserve.

Rebecca


08/12/2008 01:53 PM
wannayell
 
Posts: 22
Member

best of luck to you rebecca. we were heading toward a good split...however his mood all changed and when that happens it made my decision all the better, i've never been clearer about this decision. i know i'll have my tears 6yrs. is a long time to be with someone. i chose myself instead of a relationship with so much uncertainty.

best of wishes to you and stay strong, you are worth every ounce of happiness you can grab!!


08/12/2008 03:32 PM
bejeweled
bejeweled  
Posts: 1374
Senior Member

WTG wannayell. It is SO hard. I am with Paul. Life is short. We all deserve to be happy. Smile

08/12/2008 06:45 PM
sky
sky  
Posts: 270
Member

wannayell- It is very very hard, but there comes a point where you must look after your own health, even if getting there has the sadness of a breakup.

Peace and happiness to you.

Post edited by: sky, at: 08/12/2008 18:46


08/13/2008 05:55 PM
Paz
Paz  
Posts: 16
Member

Wannayell, I have been on the brink of break up/ move out SO many times. It takes a lot of strength and courage to actually do it. I'd be interested in hearing your story, I have a feeling it's a lot like mine. I too walk on egg shells every day. Best of luck to you in this new chapter of your life. Happiness is waiting for you!

08/14/2008 08:39 AM
wannayell
 
Posts: 22
Member

Paz,

the relationship lasted 6 yrs. the last 1.5-2yrs were full of ups and downs. The last month was an every other week roller coaster one week good i was the best thing ever and the next week i was evil and a b@tch....finally when he had spent most all of his money and need money for his meds i offered to give him the money and he turned it down, that was the sign that hit me the most.....not willing to take the money to get better or start the road to getting better. we needless to say we argued and he said it is either me or you leaving i said i'm out of here and that afternoon i found my current apartment and moved out last friday.

now i'm dealing with all of the phone calls saying i'm sorry and we have so much to work out and to talk about and the calls that say how evil i am and he can't believe that he was going to ask me to marry him this weekend...blah blah. i've called him 5 times since last thursday and i have saved about 14 messages he has left me and that does not count those that i deleted.

my thinking is this....i was wanting to move out for a while, but the good times would come and i would stay. i've read about people on here who have been with thier partner for X number of years and have children....i've never been happier that we have no children together, i could not and would not waste another moment living like that....i couldn't i'm worth more than that. every person has to make the choice that is best for them and for me that was getting away from him.... with every phone call he makes it pushes me further and further away from him...i'm happy i feel good. i go home and i'm relaxed.

I can't tell you what to do Paz you only know your situation the true situation and you have to do what is best for you.....be honest with yourself, look at the whole picture. please let me know if you need more information and I'll private message you....some of this is very personal....let me know ok?!?!?

peace to you


08/14/2008 08:52 AM
rebeccah
Posts: 14
New Member

I've also been in my relationship for 6 years -- the last 3 of them married, and I also feel that this past year has been the worst. My husband stopped taking Depakote, even though it had helped him for a long time. Then, he started getting in trouble with the police, making poor decisions and trying to make me believe that I wasn't being supportive of him.

Although he is on a different medication now (Lamictal), I'm not sure it is working as well as the Depakote did. I'm also very sure that I don't want to keep going up and down with his moods, his periods of unemployment, and his reluctance to actively manage his disease.

Now, he's one week away from moving overseas, and has done limited packing and organizing of his stuff. He's understandably upset, but also paralyzed -- a continuing pattern of behavior for him.

I too, kept on trying to keep in mind the good times and believe that we could stay together until it really hit me that things weren't going to change. He continues to make poor decisions, act like a victim, and shift responsibility by placing blame on others. I wouldn't tolerate this behavior in anyone else, so I decided that his BP wasn't a good excuse for it and it was time to move on.

My best choice was also to end the relationship and think about moving on. I know it will take time and I'll miss him, but that it's the right thing to do. You really have to feel ready for something like this, and you know it when you do.

Rebecca


08/19/2008 07:51 AM
guiltyornot
Posts: 17
Member

Wow...this is timely for me to read....as mentioned before, I've been headed for divorce for over a month now, actually had a temporary mediation....then she started with the tears and the "i'm sorries" and "i'll change"..., I actually started listening, I saw her last night and it was my fault again..and she couldn't accept what she had done as being wrong.. and I'm way too critical..furthermore she expects me to just accept that she had a "2hour lunch".with a guy that drove an hour to meet her..one she had met before last year...oh yeah, the same guy that she told me "never existed" while we were going through counseling....yeah...ok.....that just reaffirms my belief that I am doing the right thing for me and my son, she will have some custody, but he's ok with that....

08/19/2008 07:52 AM
guiltyornot
Posts: 17
Member

One more thing for all of you going through this, along with me....It helps to have a good counselor for yourself to reaffirm and confirm your decisions, a good counselor can listen to you and help you decide what's best for you and your conscience and your situation.....just some advice from someone who is going through hell along with you...
Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:
<< Start < Prev 1 Next > End >>


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved