Bipolar in the family Support Group

I have been sick over this for two weeks now. I still am unable to eat properly and am forcing myself to drink ensure (the butter pecan shake isn't half bad ) and I contacted my Dr to get something to help me stop crying and shaking and function normally while I am in this pain. Today, I am on my way out to meet with a good friend who wants to have brunch and go shopping. Next week, I am set to go on the vacation he and I planned-alone. It will be hard but I have to do this. I have not felt this much pain since the death of my mother but I know I will get through this. The worst part , well one of the worst parts of this is feeling like I am the only one here suffering this loss. He is skipping along happily like nothing ever happened. And believe me, when he is lucid he is so sensitive and loving. I just spent a week at his bedside only one month ago after he was seriously ill with a physical illness and I forced him to go to the ER....the Dr even told us that I saved his life by acting as I did then .And now this. It's like all of our experiences of love and intimacy are only in my head, like I am the only one who experienced this relationship, the only one who mourns it. He was to be my husband. Thank God he was not.

I feel like he is a total stranger to me now, and it happened in one day. A long time ago a therapist said to me when I was mourning my Mom...the only difference between you and someone who is at a trauma center with a serious gunshot wound is that it's almost worse for you beause no one can see your injury and no one can see how badly you are hurting. But the physical reaction, the adrenelyn etc...is the same. I always remembered that. She validated my feelings then and that thought validated my feelings again today.

Thank you everyone.

here is a group that might help you in the grieving process.

http://www.mdjunction.com/bereavement

Whether is is a loss of a loved one or the loss of a relationship the process in grieving has steps to it.

Your feelings are REAL. And you have every right to them.

Talking about what you are experiencing, taking care of yourself, and understanding what is going on are all ways to move forward.

hugs to you...remember me when you are enjoying that campfire...I miss camping.

It takes alot of courage and strength to go on that vacation. But you will learn things about yourself thru this process that will amaze you. I have been there. I learned I was so much stronger then I ever gave myself credit for. That I had value. And most importantly, that I was ok alone. I discovered who I was and what mattered to me. What I could live with and what I couldn't. Those are all things that are difficult to do mired in any sort of a relationship.

Good luck to you. Give yourself some credit, you deserve it. And ensure is nasty stuff...LOL....drink real milkshakes.