Bipolar in the family Support Group

My husband finally recieved a diagnosis and is as abusive as ever. He received medication and took one and is saying that it isn't him, it is me and is as abusive as ever. He invited me on a date today and was upset that i asked him not to do business duting that time. Since that time he has gotten uglier and uglier. Help

Are there discussions going on right now about this subject. It would help to talk

kathy, if he's being abusive, you need to get out of the situation and protect yourself. perhaps some space between you is needed? if he just started the medication, it will take time. depending on the meds, it could be anywhere from 1-6 weeks before it really has an effect -- most likely the long end of that time frame. if he has been on the meds for a while, then perhaps it's time to contact his doctor if his behavior has worsened.

keep yourself safe and stay strong.

He is being emotionally cruel. The doc has put him on abilify, I am at a loss at reasoning with him. I know meds take time, but is it common for bp people to believe that it is the other person and not them.

I have researched this disorder but am still confused, hurt and angry. I understand, I think that it is a chemical disorder, do they believe the the things they say and do? Do they mean it? Is that who they really are or is the person you once new under there or are they so altered by this, they will never come back?

Post edited by: kathy1122home, at: 02/09/2010 05:12 PM

Hi Kathy, sorry you are having such a rough time. Sometimes it is the BP talking and you should not take that to heart. The person you once knew is still under there. If he is starting to take meds then there is hope. The meds can work very well. Please keep posting.

yes, very common for someone with BP to blame their partner when they are manic. especially if some of your interactions are a trigger for it. there's a book a lot of us on this board have read and like, and if you're new to this bipolar thing, you should read it: loving someone with bipolar disorder.

it's a very confusing disorder, and i encourage you to read more about it. it can be different for each person depending on their diagnosis, but the patterns are often the same. has he always gone through mood swings? have you noticed a pattern?

spend some time reading through this forum as well as the Bipolar SOs forum. you'll find a lot of helpful information here.

He has only taken one dose and I am not sure if I should just hand him the one for this evening. Because he is in denial and blames everyone else I'm pretty sure he will not take it again.

It will take some weeks for the meds to kick in. He needs to stay on his meds. That is the only way for him to get better.

Yes, he has always had mood swings, but the scary part is, I never see them coming. It is like waking on eggs. I have had to turn myself into someone who doesn't have feelings so as not to rock his boat. If I tell him something he says or does hurts me, it sets him off. If I keep it inside it does more damage to me. I do see a therapist who tells me to stay strong and I have good friends who listen, but it is still lonely and scary. I don't know if I should even hope. He has seen therapists and psychiatrists before, and the minute he hears something he doesn't like he quits them.