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02/08/2010 01:19 AM

Remembering what it was like

echolad444
Posts: 22
Member

I remember the silent days of my mom going back to her bedroom, slaming the door, screaming at the top of her lungs, for no reason other to be heard and scare my little bro and me. We would walk around the house so still, barely breathing for fear she would come out in a rage. I spent most of the time trying to understand why does she have to be this way, She would go off over the simplest things,One of the things as a child I never understood how someone could act the way she did and go to church every sunday like nothing was wrong. The strange thing is on the outside our family looked like the perfect family. I never wanted to have friends over for fear she might act up and embrasse me. So most of the time I would ask to stay all night at my friends house. One night she pushed me out the door AND said(just go live with them then) I will never forget how that made me feel.There were some christmas,that she would threaten to cut up my clothes, thingss little girls should not have to worry about. I wish I could help just 1 bipolor mother stop

and think about what they are doing to the children,because even though my mother has been on med since I was twenty (Im 51 now)and she is doing great, I still will never forget how she made me feel. Its a hurt that you can,t imagine. We have a great relationship now, She wishes she could have been diagnosed when we was little and she.s sorry for putting us through that. To any parent that thinks they have bipolor, please don;t wait..everyday is a day

wasted, My mother is so gratful that Im not bitter towards her. When she tells me,thanks for all you do for me, how can I ever repay you, I ,ll say ,you already have, when you chose to except help and started on lithiun,that was my reward.

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02/08/2010 07:57 AM
damselndistress
damselndistressPosts: 16965
VIP Member

Wow echolod I can relate to much of what you are saying.

My mom's behaviors weren't as dramatic as yours but I had to walk on eggshells because I never knew what was going to upset her. She would also claim to know what I was thinking and I was just clueless. She would start accusing that I just thought I could lie and get away with it, I was little like 7 or 8 when she started this type stuff and I was just baffled. I was just a child and my behaviors were just that child like although she didn't seem to be able to recognize that and would accuse me of some ulterior motive, Like what playing with my barbies?

I was also very isolated as a child and I remember once a girlfriend came over to play after school and I asked if the little girl could stay and eat supper and she totally went crazy yelling and grabbing my arm and telling me to never ask if someone could stay especially right in front of them.It's really sad because that little girl never came back to our house again. I was horrified to the core from her reactions just over simple things. I had no idea as a child that was bad manners and her attempt to correct me was traumatizing.

We also went to church every Sunday but my mom almost always wore a scowl on her face. I guess she was always put off with dealing with her own child and I could never understand it.

I guess as difficult as it was with my mom I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you.

I am sorry for the things you experienced as a child and I hope that your wounds have a chance to heal.

It's wonderful that your mom is getting treatment and that you have a good relationship with her now!

Hugs to you,

Damsel

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