Bipolar in the family Support Group

When will it end??!! I am constantly paying my daughter's bills--lots of them are late payments, over draft charges and stupid things like late Blockbuster charges. Despite being "stable" on Lithium for over a year ( which has made a world of difference), I still am paying for my daughter's mistakes. I have to pay a $295 phone bill, overdraft charges at $33 each x 4, the Blockbuster bill is thankfully $12.60, but STILL. I think I need to take over my daughter's bank account or be a power of attorney for her? Declare her disabled? The other day I went over to her house and found all sorts of "science experiments" growing in her frige! She is the MESSIEST person alive! Yet she says she "cleans." I am just so worn out from all of this! I guess it will never end, but still...it surely eats away at me.

debglen , if she is on meds and stable now she needs to be the one to pick up the pieces. we can not protect them from everything or teach accountability if we step in all the time . Granted we want to help them as parents but at what cost? You know what i mean ?

is there anyway i can declare her incompetent? "disabled?" Do i handle all of her finances from now on? how do I do this? do you just hire a social worker? Where does one get a social worker? The county? I have tons of questions! Is she just plain stupid or is it the Bipolar talking??

debglen, In truth i am not sure how that would work but i would contact attorney about this .Unless you can get an account with your name and her's on it if she would let you .

Post edited by: grafxbydiane, at: 02/07/2010 02:05 PM

thanks--I will try to set up an appmt with social security admin first. we have a lawyer working on her Chapter 13 now.

deb

debglen , I am guessing that they can make you the payee

Debglen: Why do you feel the need to step in? Let her experience the fall-out herself.

my daughter lost he job in early November. Hooked up with some dirtbag who stole $950 from her checking account, then other various late fees,etc....so I help her out this time and now closed her bank account and opened a new one in my bank with my name on her account so I can check on her. I just cannot let her fall. I need to help her especially now until she starts her new job on wednesday. I will give it another 6 months, but if she falls into her old behaivors, then I wil have to let her experience the fall out herself!

deb

I was layed off Oct. 31.... Why can't you let her fall?

debglen , I can understand what you are saying but this only enables her by you helping her every time .