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help my g/f is preggos n bi polar



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07/06/2008 19:58
orlandoforall31
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I have known my g/f for 5 years now but dated only for a yr now n we have been pregnant for 8 months of that yr. I did not know she was bi polar until she had to stop taking her meds for the pregnancy. I know she is suffering and hates how she feels but what about me? i feel like an innocent by stander getting collateral damage. Why am I suffering. I didnt sign up for all this. She cries all the time, speaks in different voices, has various moods and personalities that I have to endur. We are going to have a little girl but I do not want to stay together just for the baby, children would rather be FROM a broken home than IN a broken home. I have zero help and no one in my corner. the people I try to talk to are all her friends and family n make me feel like i am a bad guy. they naturaly are simply concerned with her. I am supposed to enjoy this moment and am hating every minute of it. I cant touch her, kiss her, hold her hand. she is just soo depressed and does not like anything...at all... she is miserable. I try to deal with the normal pregnancy depression but this bi polar stuff is coming out of left field. I played college baseball, served in the Marine Corps, was a Federal Air Marshal and now own my own business. why must i suffer because of her illness? can someone please tell me something? I just joined this group today so that I may try to find help, for me, for her, for baby, for us three! im not looking for sympathy i just need advice from someone elses perspective. I mistakenly posted this question in another forum that was for people with bp and got chewed up alive, called names and was told to leave my g/f, the baby and to simply pay child support. if that is what i wanted to do, i wouldnt be seeking help from you guys on the web
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07/06/2008 22:39
plugginalong
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well, we have all gone through these tough times, one way or another.

my wife is also pregnant (and BP) but she is taking her Lithium, (although she was off it in the first timester, and that was a tough time for me. Her too, but tough for me in the same way your life is tough right now perhaps)

Obviously your Gal is someone you like being around, (when she is medicated properly) so perhaps you can see a time when things will be somewhat normal again?

You know, your girlfriend will ALWAYS be your daughter's mother. Your daughter will someday appreciate whatever good you can do for them both right now. Take a different look at it for now. She is a friend and, the mother of your daughter. If you can focus on that for now, then you can try and figure out what they both need.

I know you wish that SOMEONE, anyone, would care about you and your needs right now, but you'll have to go to your family and friends for that.

I would suggest learning more about BP and what you can do for them. This will distract you from your own deep worries. That's a start, others will have more advice.

If it makes you feel any better, i totally sympathize with your suffering in this. It really sucks sometimes.

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07/06/2008 22:54
orlandoforall31
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wow thanks. i appreciate that

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07/07/2008 03:18
TerriTee
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Hi, Orlando.

If she's eight months pregnant, she will be able to get back on her meds after the baby is born - one more month, right? It will probably be another 6 weeks or so until she is as stable as she was, so please be extra careful with her and your new baby for a while.

Is she still going to her therapist? That might help a little, for her to talk to a professional. Talking to a counselor might help you as well, so you are better able to deal with all this.

I know it is a hard, lonely time. It sucks to have the person you love with all your heart, your best friend not there to talk to really. Try to focus on the possitives and remember that she will be stable and herself again. Good luck with the baby and keep us posted.

Terri

Most people don't know that there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don't get too comfortable & fall asleep & miss your life - Brian Andreas
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07/07/2008 14:29
HondaGirl
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If you have known your GF for 5 years and were not aware of her BPD that must mean the medication works for her. I know its a really hard time for you, but please stay strong and be there for her. She will need you more then ever when the baby is born, and she will be able to go back on the medication and hopefully get better. In any event your daughter needs you especially when her mother is going back on the medication. I would suggest contacting your local chapter of NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) they usually have a family support group, and I bet your not the only person in this situation

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07/07/2008 16:34
orlandoforall31
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Terri and Honda girl, thank you for the advice. that is exactly why i joined this site, so people who have first hand knowledge of bp can shed some light on this. She is seeing her therapist and i will be going tomorrow for the first time to join in. and yes, with the meds, my girl is AMAZING. honda girl, i fully intend on being there for both women in my life. Dr said fo her to start welbutrin tomorrow!!!
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07/07/2008 16:39
TerriTee
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That is wonderful news! I'm sure things will be better for both of you. someone I know takes welbutrin and does very well on it. Thanks for the update. (PS My husband has bp and we've been married 23 years with 3 children - so, it can work - best to you both and your new baby).

Hugs,

Terri

Most people don't know that there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don't get too comfortable & fall asleep & miss your life - Brian Andreas


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07/07/2008 16:52
HondaGirl
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CONGRATS! Understanding the disease is the first step to conquering it! Keep us posted!

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07/07/2008 22:25
plugginalong
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cool man, good to hear. this all sounds hopeful! that is all it takes sometimes, in these difficult times...a bit of hope.

i have found that it's the children in my life (one 3 i/2 year old and one on the way) that have given me that extra bit of strength to make it through those hard times, keep the family glued together.

despite the most difficult hardships, we are ok now. My wife is a great, happy, active mother and wife.

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