Bipolar in the family Support Group

What has worked for you and your partner?

What has worked during the mania?

What has worked during the depression?

What has worked in keeping you from slipping into a depression?

What has worked?

This is for everyone! No matter who you are reading this, obviously you have feelings and input.

Let's talk about what has worked and build upon that!

Well, what has worked for me is therapy by myself and with them.

What has also worked is talking about it constantly with them, the symptoms, the pain, the anguish, the humilation, all of it... My daughter is 13 and she just didn't get it, mostly because I kept all of the symptoms bottled up, and covered it up as much as possible, and we had a few therapy sessions where we talked about it and she is better. I think before that she was just blaming me...she did not have the life like everyone else did and she resented that...although she still does but it did open up the dialogue...about everything that I am experiencing...the voices...the thoughts (some)...seeing things....what she is feeling...what he is feeling...and discussing ways to cope.

When she is badgering me...if I'm manic...sometimes I can recognize it, sometimes I can't...those are the worst times because although she is just being a kid...my head can't handle it... During mania, those are the times when I want to go spend money...out...both she and my exhusband try to curtail that as best as possible... During those times I'm loud and over the top...so my daughter has to keep reminding me to turn the knob down...as best I can.

During depression...I just put up my hand...the stop motion and they know I cannot discuss whatever it is...sometimes it works...sometimes it doesn't....I have to get away from the situation so I go to my room...take a drive...or take a walk...to walk off the anger...play a game...then come back and discuss things when I am able to.

Nothing has worked in terms of keeping me from slipping into depression, every day is different though, while the severity has lessened...maybe from negative 5...to 1....I still struggle... I do have some 5 days...as I call them... where I'm still depressed but I can do some things...as long as someone is with me...most of the time.

I'm often told that I am paranoid, and honestly, I do not know that reality so I can't speak to it...but I try to just let things go...not dwell on them...although that becomes a challenge sometimes.

Other things that have worked for me in terms of lessening the depression from off the charts to wanting to live some days....has been dietary changes...eating whole foods and eliminating junk and sugar, taking out toxins be it food, lotions, shampoos, or other stuff...

Getting online helps me cope during both mania and depression. I force myself to get online and answer posts or play games...to get out of my head...otherwise I become lost in it.

Iodine probably helped me stay out of the hospital...well it actualy did...except the last time because I took a med and that sent me over the edge. I was afraid to paint the iodine when I had taken the sleeping pill.

I have to state that I have candida...and that in itself contributes a great deal to how some of the things above have helped...in terms of the antifungal foods, oils, etc...

Post edited by: ohfaithful, at: 12/13/2009 03:40 PM

Post edited by: ohfaithful, at: 12/13/2009 03:42 PM

What has worked for you and your partner? Unfortunately it depends on the situation of what has triggered it and what is happening. More importantly learning what they respond to the best, listening to the words sometimes more than the actions. Reading in between the lines. Knowing when to just walk away and either let it go or address at another time. Saving some of the behaviors I witness for discussion/reporting back to the doctor more than him.

What has worked during the mania? Staying out of the way. Watching his body language and eyes. There is a look. There is a way he sits (his posture); his smile; everything about him is different and depending on what I see, I either try to reach him or just get out of the way. Took a long time for me to get to this point.

What has worked during the depression? Tell them you love them, ask if there is anything you can do, and then go about your business as if the day is normal. I treat him more like someone who is sick or with a headache and just needs to be left alone. I watch to ensure it doesn't go on too long. I encourage him to get up for a little while and either eat or watch TV. But again, it depends how bad the episode is. Sometimes his anger in depression is as bad as in mania. Especially if it is mixed - then all bets are off and I go by whatever is presenting itself.

What has worked in keeping you from slipping into a depression? I don't know anything can stop it completely, but there are obvious things to avoid. But again, it depends on the person.

What has worked? Reading books like "Loving someone with bipolar" and the "Everything Medical for Adult Bipolar". Learning about how to help from the loved one's perspective and what they themselves should be doing from the BP perspective allows me to try and avoid situations which may trigger an episode. I know if there is too much activity for extended periods of time he is going to trip. The only problem is I don't know which way, so the best I can do is ensure he stays on his meds (especially during stressful times); keep klonopin handy if he seems to become agitated or anxious; and then try to calm down the house.

It is different for each. And if they go too far - you sometimes just have to let go and wait for the moment. In the meantime, I have tried to educate those close who he could run too and encourage them to support me in these times. This way if he does run, I can relax and know he is in good hands. This I am still working on.

Sometimes the only thing that works is focus on you! Hope this helps.

It's good to here things that work!

So far, talking about it and being honest has worked for me also. Being honest and true to everyone involved has provided me with the best feelings.

Listening has provided positive results. I think I've become a better listener.

I'm reopening this one again. I'm hoping more people will enter good moments.

What has worked doesn't mean that it works every time, maybe it just worked once. It's worth posting for others to benefit...to gain insight.

In failing, we also learn.

Sorry to start off on what some people might call a downer. Space. I just needed space after my last melt-down to get my stuff together without all the drama. While your family might see it as running away from your problems, I think it's running out of a flaming building.

My spouce sees me checking into the V.A. as hiding from reality too.

You just have to decide what's best for you and do it. It's easier to mend fences than bash your brains out against a rock wall.

I hear ya! I understand the running out of a flaming building. My husband was able to articulate this to me. He used to go into the bathroom FOREVER and it drove me nuts! Now, I completely understand and I know he's regaining his strength.

Thank you, cptblack!

Not a downer - we all need space. Sometimes I don't think we get enough of it for we feel the need to stay in the thick of things.

When my husband left me the first time about two weeks in I changes my attitude when I was around him. I no longer talked about us, I no longer asked him to come home, I just went on lunch dates (the only time he wanted to see us) and acted like nothing was wrong. After a few weeks of that he really started warming up to me again. And even with him gone again and for good if I act like nothing that usually changes his attitude. While I do not think that is any way to live it may work good for some when you just need a temporary change in a situation. Sadly for me my husband would be content to live like that forever.

What has worked? It took four or five years of trying different med combos to hit on the right one (the all-important 'cocktail'). Doesn't always work 100% every single day, but the difference in him medicated and not medicated was night and day.