Bipolar in the family Support Group

Hello everyone I hope you can help me. Been happily married - most of time to bp husband. He came off clozaril bout 10 years ago and no med since. We have had the moods, temper, violence and reckless spending sprees. We have planned to move abroad and my husband went first to set up the business and me and the children followed. A few weeks later he was cold as ice with me, told me he had voices in his head, was shaking and very tired. Told me if he said f off he didnt mean it. I had to go away for our son and next day he phoned said he wanted to separate. I went back and pleaded, he said it was too late, swore he wasnt having an affair and wanted to be on his own. My children and I moved back to the uk and silence, cut me off email, so cold on phone. I went onto his email and found loads to another woman declaring undying love and asking for marriage. Says he is glad to be rid of me and over the moon to get a divorce. He told her she got his heart racing like a drug. I phoned and told him I am getting divorced and he said send me papers and I'll sign them. So matter of fact, said I'm a user and not even asked how things are or mentioned the children. Is this him or does it sound like a manic episode and he doesnt know what he is doing? I've not slept for 2 weeks and cant believe he has just gone like that after all we have done together. It is like he has died. Help me please.

sunday321 . Welcome not being a doc i can not say for sure but yes it does sound like a manic episode . I do not get why he has not medicated with anything over 10 years . This is usually a lifelong thing with meds . Anyhow you will not be able to get through to him at this point . He will not listen .It is better to wait until he is not in a manic state if you can and talk to him then . I hope that you are seeking help to find your self and feelings in this ..

Thanks for help. Wont take any med as says he is ok - nothing wrong with him. Just dont know if its him or the bipolar that wants the divorce.

Sunday321, he sounds exactly like my husband when he became manic. My husband did all the same things you wrote about. He was so cold and distant - treated me like I was a stranger. Mania can be a very destructive phase financially and emotionally. Take care of you!

Sunday321-My heart goes out to you and I am sending lots of love and energy to you. It definitely sounds like a manic episode that his behind all of his behavior - the cheating and the desire to divorce. I wish I had some magic words for you to take the pain away, but as our friends have said, there isn't really much you can do. I know when I heard that it made me cry because I am a doer and after all - it is your husband and your marriage. The best thing that you can do for you and your children is take care of yourself - please reach out and get counseling, exercise, eat right. You can not and should not take what he has said personally. You must remind yourself of who you know yourself to be - strong! I know that it is alot easier said than done - I have to convince myself each day...sometimes each hour. You can and will get through this and I am hoping that he will get the help he needs and comes back to you. But whether he does or does not, you must get yourself strong!

God bless you. I have been going thru this for almost a year now, and it doesn't get better if no meds and no drs.

Thanks so much it does help and I need to understand what is going on. The day I left he cried his eyes out - I have never seen him cry before. Then next day he phones and wnats divorce. I drove 500 miles back to plead with him but he was cold as ice. Said it was too late, too many arguments and he was a new man and going to go out every night with women and get his expensive car back. Why did he cry when his email to fancy woman says he couldnt wait for me to go? Also what happens if he comes out of it - will he carry on with other woman and we are forgotten for evermore?

That happened to me too, my husband came back was sorry and cried couple of times. I think it was when he fell out of mania for a very short times. He is now my ex-husband and he has been gone for 22 months. Maybe he is rapid cycling now and has almost no normal periods between the mania and depression. What I hear from his relatives and from my son is: His judgement is clearly bad, he has made huge debts, he is still extremely selfish, seems not to have any compassion or empathy for others - even not for our children. I know that their moods can be changing very fast, so maybe your husband really was very sorry when he cried and then his mood changed again ...

sunday321 , The only thing i can say is that it was the regret that he cried . Possibly for that split second he knew what happened but then after it was right back to irrational thinking .

my ex used to cry like i have never seen any man cry before, and so i interprited his apology as sincere. but after a while the behavior would just repeat and he lied when he said he had stopped seeing the other women. he was a selfish bastard who wanted to have his cake and eat it too. i do believe that he loved me, but couldn't control himself or his desease. now that some time has passed i no longer feel anything when he cries to me and swears he will be different. i have heard this sooooooooooooooooo many times and although he may mean to do right by me, he simply cant. maybe someday he will meet a woman who will stand by him, but i just didn't have the stomach to put myself through it anymore. as time goes by we all heal. i think your husband will defenitely come back to you, but you are the one who will have to decide if you want him back. and if you want that life. i wish you the best, stay strong.