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11/20/2009 02:04 AM

bipolar wife infatuation issues

ric
Posts: 38
Member

my wife has bipolar and is on lithium and abillify. she has had "crushes" in the past. the last one almost?/has ruined or marrage.. since then she has been in treatment. but cant get over last infatuation. her problem is she never realy makes freinds. she dosent like women and get "hooked" on other men. i know she should go to theripy but she refuses for now.

Any sugestions?

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11/20/2009 07:11 AM
SosadMand
SosadMandPosts: 47
Member

Hi Ric,

I have no idea how you deal with this. It must be very hard for you to deal with. There is a point where you really cannot take this anymore, and thats for you to decide, but I would let her know that sick or not this type of behaviour is totally unacceptable. It can be hard to really come to that place, but you would not take this treatment from a non-bipolar wife I assume. Sorry to be blunt. My husband left me a few months ago, he is Bipolar, and I found out many things he was doing behind my back. Not acceptable no matter what. I hope you can talk to her and let her know how this makes you feel. I wonder would she allow you to have "crushes"

M


11/20/2009 08:08 AM
craneman
cranemanPosts: 139
Member

i am sorry u have to go through this...i am the one that is bi polr here but she is the one with crushes in our relationship...i did alot wrong in our marriage but she acts like her being on dating sites and calling men at night after i go to bed is ok...i actualy found one of their addresses in her gps as recent destinations...i hope she reads this and decides wha she want to do..she was on here slamming me and i got a repromand from some other lady for defending myself to lies and half truths...all she wrot was things that i did and some that i didn't she didnt explain she was having an affair.and all the nonbipolar were slamming me...well what else is new on that...i haven't read many posts that were favorable on our beehalf.....i know this is hard for you and my heart goes out to you!hopefully u can find a way to deal with this..and be better than me at it..i attempted suicide twice in a month and think about it often....so please find a better way to deal with the pain than i do....

11/20/2009 12:15 PM
stamperben
Posts: 195
Member

My wife had a "crush" on a man as little as 4 months ago. this was one of about a half dozen over the years. I finally set a firm boundary with her, for my own well being (finally), that she quit the other men or the marriage was over.

As time passes the thought of this guy will fade, as it is with my wife. Hopefully in the treatment she is getting your wife can learn to develop healthy relationships with others. What about the both of you? Do you have any common friends, other couples you both know?

There is no way you can deal with an ill spouse while dealing with the heartache of her being infatuated or sexual with someone else.


11/20/2009 03:33 PM
Altan
Altan  
Posts: 63
Member

I put up with a lot of abuse and inappropriate behavior from my bipolar ex-girlfriend but infidelity was the last straw. I broke up with her. Didn't want to. Hoped things would be different. Wanted her to come back. Still getting over her but when your partner isn't with you, she's not with you, you know what I'm saying? There's nothing left to defend.

11/20/2009 03:35 PM
Altan
Altan  
Posts: 63
Member

I should add that my ex-girlfriend is the same way. Has very few friends and burns many bridges. Lives like a refugee. Lives underground for the most part. Very little activity "on the grid". She has to.

11/20/2009 07:40 PM
SosadMand
SosadMandPosts: 47
Member

My soon to be ex-husand who is Bipolar, has lost so many friends not to mention family. He has very little people to go to, so he reaches out to strangers who do not know him or what he's done to gain sympathy from whatever story he makes up. There is no excuse for the cheating. I know they are sick, I know that its a action caused from the disease, but I also know that the more I allow myself to be treated in such a way I lose who I once was. And its not selfish to take care of you for once.

11/20/2009 08:37 PM
Altan
Altan  
Posts: 63
Member

You are so right, SosadMand. You have to draw limits, you have to draw boundaries and it's ok to look after yourself.

We do so much to try and keep things together and you just can't by yourself. At some point, you have to let go.


11/20/2009 08:50 PM
SosadMand
SosadMandPosts: 47
Member

Thank you Altan. Its been a very rough ride so many accusations I have dealt with and yet he was the one with the dating profile...we must set limits and when its gone over that its time to look after us. So hard to deal with the straying and uncertainty. he left me three months ago and still continues to send me texts blaming me for his illness and his hospitalizations and accuses me of so much. I hope we all come out better for all this. I know its made me understand how to be treated and how not and what love is and what its not.

11/20/2009 08:50 PM
SosadMand
SosadMandPosts: 47
Member

Thank you Altan. Its been a very rough ride so many accusations I have dealt with and yet he was the one with the dating profile...we must set limits and when its gone over that its time to look after us. So hard to deal with the straying and uncertainty. he left me three months ago and still continues to send me texts blaming me for his illness and his hospitalizations and accuses me of so much. I hope we all come out better for all this. I know its made me understand how to be treated and how not and what love is and what its not.
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