Bipolar dealing with PTSD Support Group

Why am I conflicted? I don't know if I'm supposed to greive the old perv or start lighting my stash of fireworks and putting balloons out.

None of my family contactd me. I read a status post on Face(less)book when my sister mentioned it in passing. I haven't heard a word about funeral plans: Am I once more being excluded by my family 'For my own good'?

I feel like going to the same medium and saying "Excuse me people. I am 60 By-God years old and well able to behave in a civilized manner. I don't eat everything with my hands or poop my pants. Treat me like an adult. You didn't ever admit he was a pervert and acted like I was 'A weird little liar' for telling the truth because things like that didn't happen in our family".

I think I'll treat it with the same gravity as if hearing some relative I never met had their dog die. "Oh that is sad. Next page".

Post edited by: cptblack, at: 05/14/2012 08:26 AM

Colleen

If I dug all the skeletons out of our collective family closets I could make a display to have the Smithstonian Institude green with envy.

They are planing a viewing on a gurney, cremation and a small memorial service. I will resist temptation and not show up. Not even with a cake and balloons.

Post edited by: cptblack, at: 05/15/2012 09:59 AM

I wonder if he was cremated so I couldn't pee on his grave?

When he died I cried briefly, the rest of the time I was numb. I was not sure how I should act or what I should say. I shouldered the blame for many years and it almost killed me. I began to discover it was not my fault, I was a baby when it all began,I did whatever i had to in order to survive. He's dead, how do I feel about it ? it is almost a relief, I have expressed my anger in a healthy fashion and gave myself time to find some healing. I'm I there yet?90%, There are days I still feel angry and frustrated, but I am human.

I understand what your saying and feeling bobo.