Bipolar dealing with PTSD Support Group

politics is having the power, or the ones have it and want to keep it and other wanting to control, down to best image play, all politics is same, all want the thing my image, so much for rest of nation.

sort of like the marriage contract to control someone. if people would be honest with themselves, how long would a couple stay together without that contract. but is always , we love and cherish each, what a line, maybe 6 months of bliss, then down hill. i think it would be more open without contract, but that is a sin, another one those man made church things, shame, guilt.

blather,,, had to look up. me in a mania state. connection to black hole again. fuel for drama.

i read your 3 replies and you seem to be dealing with some intense issues--i wish you well.

mine, i think are things i can now more easily dispose of---

not certain---typing it out is of some help to me.

to sit and think---listen to the debates of GOP candidates and try to decide how each would respond to many unknown scenarios---futile.

'but during the debate you said...'

how silly---who knows what the POTUS will need to do in the future?

i gave it my best shot---won't do more.

~~~~~~~~~~~

whatever it is --and I am of the school of thought that we may never really know---we can only go forward.

what doesn't help me ---

getting into the 'have I had a mood, why did I have a mood' sort of thinking

I have thousands every day.

I suppose I was in a 'mood' when I said to the person in front of me at CVS--'Is there a reason that you are standing back here---the person in front was at the counter and we were in a line back at the shelves.'

She then said to me--'You Didn't say that---you are crazy--you look crazy---and you don't want to go there...'

I didn't and said nothing.

Why did I comment in the first place? I know better. Life in the 21st century---we need to stand according to our needs for space---i suppose. Finally, when it was my turn I moved up---it is sort of wierd---you do just want to stand back at the shelves for some reason. I don't prefer this CVS for a number of reasons---better now than it was. The worst in the nearby Target ---almost have moral issues about entering the store. Beyond them to assign additional cashiers no matter how long the line----why---just why?

Even Walmart can on occasion assign additional cashiers.

sigh---I didn't feel like 'killing' anyone ---annoyed---just annoyed. Other times---when something else was bothering me I have been emotional---my uncle died and for days I thought about his difficult life and why it had to be so hard---cried at the drop of a hat.

what can I tell you---I need to cry sometimes and would be very concerned if I didn't do it.

i feel 'depressed'---meds no meds---is this as good as it gets?

tomorrow---i must control rage against local mental health dept.

'No, we don't have refills for you.'

Why---first attempt to assign me to a doctor failed and I requested another. Little prick didn't submit Rx form. After I had a scheduled intake appt and wasn't given a doctor's appt--had to wait 4hrs as a walk in.

Dissatisfied--and I was already that from an experience a few years ago.

48th out of 50 states----the State of GA----who could be 'happy' knowing this?

so I must go as a 'Walk In' tomorrow and get Rx's ---no more medication. The medication that gives me insomnia and seems to contribute to depression. I am not going to allow myself to be treated this way.

I can find out how to decrease the dosage----if this is all the meds can do.

Exercise and a better perspective on Life. That had been something I was pursuing. Should have ditched the futile political questions---if WE, the People want Romney---then WE will get him---if WE don't we won't and everyone can express opinions --however troubling and upsetting they are. /gavel.

I hate to say It but you are bipolar 1 denial won't help you.

I am Bipolar, Alcaholic/Addict,ptsd & panic disorder. One thing I know as a fact of life if I were to go out and drink again all the work I did with being bipolar,ptsd and panic disorder will mean nothing. What does that all give me an opportunity for a life and to appreciate the life I do have. I fell for that "impossible dream", and it almost killed me, broke my back. If I were to fall over now and play dead the people who handed me this line of XX will have won. It may not matter to another person, but it does to me. What has saved my xxx on many occasions? it has been what I have been able to carry out of an AA meeting etc...The Serentity Prey, look up the long version, it leaves you something to think about. To take one day at a time, or one minute at a time if that is all I am capable of at that time. In the mean time I see my doctor, take my meds as perscribed, stay sober and preying to my higher power. As of today the two things I am working on is acceptence. When I was diagnosed with bipoolar I did not want to accept it and played doctor. Guess what that left me with only two things continue on the same path and remain miserable. Or accept it and help myself, and to realize none of the above is easy. I don't think any of it is ment to be easy.

All of the above is ment in a suggestive manner, "it is your health and your life." The one realization I have come to along the way, "life is just to damm short." I wish you luck and i truly hope you find whatever it is your looking for.